Rsvps and assigned seats

Assign tables, not seats. Some tables will naturally be unfilled due to the size of your groups, so people who show up unexpectedly can sit in those leftover seats.


If people don't RSVP, or bring uninvited guests, that's a separate issue that needs to be dealt with by reaching out to those people directly a few weeks before the reception.

My biggest piece of advice is to assign tables/seats if you’re doing a plated meal. If it’s buffet style, assigned seats are not super necessary. However, if you’re having food served, the servers need some way on knowing who got what dish.

On that note, if you do place cards, you can put a little symbol or letter on the place cards so if your relatives do shift around, servers still know what they ordered. Good luck!

I am doing assigned tables, FH has already told me that he knows for certain he will have people that he invited show up without a rsvp. I find that totally rude and inappropriate. I told him them then they will not have a place to sit. I have 13 table and 13 center pieces and not one more. He told me to have a table to sit people at that dont rsvp, it will have a table cloth and that is about it. If I am taking the time to send everything out and making each and every center piece the least they can do is rsvp. This is probably my biggest worry. We have family that cant sit together and dont want anyone feeling like the new kid at the lunch table. That is the reason for assigning tables.

Definitely assign tables - otherwise you bring up high school cafeteria nightmares for a lot of people.

Reach out to anyone who hasn't RSVPed, let them know that you need an accurate headcount, and that if you don't hear from them by x date, you understand that they are declining.

We wont be assigning tables or seats except having a few reserved for our immediate families near our king's table. It's just too much nightmare and hassle. If you already know your family isn't going to respect the seats you assign them I dont think its worth going to all the trouble. If you're doing a plated meal I would suggest including an icon or their meal choice on a name card and have guests take them to the seat they want. If youre having a buffet or family style it doesnt matter.

We will be assigning tables not seats but there will be the exact amount of seats as people who rsvp. It is rude not to rsvp to an event but to fair by me the mail has been super slow lately so maybe you ll get some more rsvpss start to flow in soon. I will be tracking down anyone who doesn't rsvp (fingers crossed that won't be too many people).

Hopefully you get all the rsvps back. People who did not respond weren’t listed. That being said I did not have assigned seats or tables at my wedding and my guest loved it. People didn’t feel awkward sitting with random people.

I think it kind of depends on what your vibe and meal is like. We're doing assigned seats, but partly because we are having personalized menus at each seat (IE you picked chicken, your menu will have that listed as your entree. You picked the beef? It will have that listed etc). Their menus are their place cards. We're doing a seating chart where each person is listed alphabetically by last name, and it says which table they are to go to, and then once they get there, the seats will have their names on it.

I'm personally totally fine if they switch around seats at their individual tables. (Bob would rather sit next to Carol than Alice? And Ted wants to be between them? Long as you're all at your original tables, there's no way I'll remember who I put where at that table).

As far as guests who don't RSVP and then show up? That's a whole different ball game (including guests who show up with an extra person who wasn't invited). This happened at my brother's wedding, my aunt and uncle brought along my cousin who was not invited (wedding was 18 and over only, she was 16 at the time). Luckily for her, we had two guests who had to cancel at the last minute, so I took their spot and she took mine. I will admit, this is kind of my nightmare? And I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to handle it if it does happen (though I might leave that to my very authoritative father and no nonsense mother-in-law who would definitely handle it if I asked.)

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This is what I was going to say! Assigning tables lets them be sure that they sit next to who they want but also takes the guesswork out of having to find someone you know to sit with! And like Jasmine said, it will leave seats open naturally!

I would definitely assign tables, otherwise it will be a free for all, with people moving chairs to sit with other people and some tables empty. It's that High School Cafeteria feeling, and kind of uncomfortable for your guests. It's really a job you should be doing, not your guests.

Thank you all for your help!! Our RSVPs were due 10 days ago and a few are still trickling in but my mom, future in-laws and I are prepared to make calls this weekend. After reviewing everyone's comments, I'm going to move forward with assigning tables. My venue coordinator said we can have a couple of extra tables that are designated for those non-RSVPers that might show up that day. Thank you all again!!! I'm so grateful for this community! :-)

View Quoted Comment I think its a good idea to have an extra table. At my wedding, we didn't have anyone show up unannounced, but somehow the extra table was still used. I think some family members preferred to sit by themselves.

Assign tables regardless if you are having buffet or plates. People don’t act and seat themselves differently based on the style of food service. You will still have the high school cafeteria ptsd and couples/families split in both scenarios without assigned tables.


Escort cards are always easier on you and guests alike. It’s easier and faster to find your name, grab the card and go than it is to attempt to locate names on a hard to read chart or mirror with traffic jams and remember where you are seated when you get caught up in conversations on the way.

As for putting together seating assignments before rsvps come in, you have 2 options. You can put each guest’s name on a post it strip that you can move around on a poster board of tables and move around as needed . Or rsvpify.com has a digital chart you can work with.

To get the final headcount, you would remove the guest names on the post it notes as they decline and you contact them after the rsvp due date but before you give the final number to the caterer. If someone doesn’t send in their reply, you must reach out to them during that buffer week. Don’t hang up until you get a response, and no answer is considered a no. This is why escort cards work so much better. As far as uninvited guests, they don’t have a seat or table.

I would do assigned tables. We're doing assigned tables and going to create a giant board with everyone's names on it with their table number assigned next to it.

I would reach out to your guests who haven't responded yet to ensure you have an accurate headcount and be open and honest with your guests who haven't responded yet how important it is.

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Thank you for these suggestions!!! I hadn't heard of rsvpify.com, I'm going to check it out.

Thanks, everyone! My FH's parents, my mom, my FH and I reached out to our "no response" people over the weekend...we had 140 that hadn't responded! Ugh...but we got it done!! There are just about 10 people we haven't gotten an answer from and they know that if we don't hear from them by tomorrow, it's a no and they won't get a seat/meal. I feel so much better about our guest count now and will be moving forward with table assignments starting next week.