Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

I
Dedicated December 2019

Rsvped no or told us they can't come after Save the Dates

isabel1115, on July 22, 2019 at 5:22 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

I know the general etiquette is to send someone an invitation even if they said they probably can't come on the Save the Date. However, some people have already RSVPed no on our website or told us they can't come. I'd send them an invitation anyways but some of them didn't even fill in the address form on our save the date request so we'd have to call them each and ask for their addresses. Do I still call them and send them an invitation or is that pushy and annoying at this point.

12 Comments

Latest activity by isabel1115, on July 23, 2019 at 2:48 PM
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    If they went so far to RSVP no on the website Id just called them and confirm.
    You don't generally have forms with save the dates so I'd do a curtosey call on them too.
    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I would turn the RSVP option on your website off until you send put invites. Still send everyone an invite
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with LB. Go ahead and turn off online RSVPs before it potentially becomes problematic!

    • Reply
  • I
    Dedicated December 2019
    isabel1115 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Why is it problematic? We purposely did it so we could get a better idea of the numbers as we went. We already have a 20%+ rsvp rate 5 months out. It's been great!

    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Agree with others to turn off the RSVPS until you send invitations. We had people book hotel rooms after getting the save the date and weren’t able to make it and we also had people tell us verbally that they couldn’t come but then were able to make it work. I would’ve hated to rely on that and not just stick with getting RSVPs two months before the wedding when everyone had a better idea of if they could actually attend.
    • Reply
  • I
    Dedicated December 2019
    isabel1115 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Then the invitation could remind people to update their RSVPs if there are any changes but a lot of people have already bought plane tickets. I purposely made sure to use a website that allowed them to change their RSVPs if needed. I have no doubts about our decision to let people RSVP early because it made it way easier to keep track of things. The question is whether or not we need to send invitations to the people who told us no.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes, you do. Because, like you said, RSVPs can change when it's this early. IMO any RSVP you get at this point should only be viewed as tentative.
    • Reply
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Why? We had ours on since save the dates.
    • Reply
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    But the guest can go back and change it,
    • Reply
  • I
    Dedicated December 2019
    isabel1115 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah. This is how I feel. Most of our guests are flying in to attend the wedding so at this point, they have an idea of whether or not they plan to come. Of course, if anything changes, I still hope they change it or let us know. We still have until 3 days before the wedding to let the venue/kitchen know of changes.

    • Reply
  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We are not following this etiquette. FH's one military friend and his wife have another family wedding on our date. They aren't coming. There's no chance they'll change their mind, so we are not sending an invite wasting a stamp and paper for them to just say no again.

    • Reply
  • I
    Dedicated December 2019
    isabel1115 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Thanks guys! I think we'll send everyone an invitation if they gave us an address and if they don't, we need to call them and get their addresses anyways so we can see how the conversation goes. It'll be a second reminder to them in case they change their minds when we call.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics