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September 2019

rsvp

Amy, on August 9, 2019 at 12:42 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 13

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My daughter & I have been invited to her friend’s wedding. The invitation came addresses to both of us. It says that 2 seats have been reserved for us on the RSVP. I am married (and have been for 17 years) and my daughter has been dating the same man for 5 years. My question is: is the bride really only reserving a seat for my daughter and me, or is that 2 seats for her and 2 for me? I can’t imagine that she’s excluding my husband or my daughter’s boyfriend. I’m very confused as to how to respond. Of course I’m not going to tell my husband “hey, going to xx wedding and sorry pal, you’re not invited.” Please help. Idk how to tactfully ask the bride if that’s what she really meant to do!

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Amy, on August 9, 2019 at 6:05 PM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on August 9, 2019 at 12:48 PM
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You can ask her if she meant to do that, but to me it is clear that her intention is to invite you and your daughter only. If you want to ask her, I don't see the harm. Just don't ask her if you can bring them anyway. It would be perfectly appropriate to decline the invitation for any reason regardless.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on August 9, 2019 at 12:49 PM
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From what you described, sounds like she is only inviting you and your daughter. I agree with you, and wouldn't go without my husband. Best thing to do is probably decline the invite. I am sure she had her reasons for excluding both of y'all's spouses, but that also comes at the risk of people declining.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 9, 2019 at 12:54 PM
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To me, it sounds like she is only inviting you and your daughter. I see no problem clarifying with her, but I'd be prepared to say no since your significant others were excluded.
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VIP June 2020
Jessica · on August 9, 2019 at 12:55 PM
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It sounds like it's just for you and your daughter, which is weird to me. I would reach out to her and just be like hey, we got your invite but its only for me and my daughter. Is my husband and daughters long time boyfriend invited too? If she says no I would just say ok, thanks. And send back a declined RSVP card.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on August 9, 2019 at 12:56 PM
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Yes, it appears that since the invitation was only addressed to you and your daughter and specifically states only 2 seats have been reserved and not 4 then your SOs have not been invited. This is a faux pas on the part of the bride but perhaps she didn't think much about it since she probably figured you and your daughter would be okay going together and leaving your partners behind. If you know the bride well then you could confirm with her, but if you don't, then I would just leave it alone and decide if you want to go with just your daughter.
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Devoted October 2019
Annemarie · on August 9, 2019 at 1:01 PM
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It sounds like she meant for only two seats to be given to you guys.
One couple could go, and one stay home? If you feel like you should go.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on August 9, 2019 at 1:24 PM
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She's definitely inviting you and the daughter and not the husband or boyfriend. Thats not reccomended when doing invites but we can't change it.
I'd just give her a quick call and say hey we got your invite, is it only for daughter and I?
See what she says. If you don't want to go without your husband then politely decline.
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Super July 2018
Brittany · on August 9, 2019 at 1:33 PM
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Unfortunately it sounds like only you and your daughter are invited. I've seen MANY posts from brides in various groups saying that in order to save money they aren't going to invite certain significant others if the guest will know other people there. So since you and your daughter know each other she cut your husband and daughters boyfriend. Brides do it to co-workers a lot too, invite the co-worker and not their spouse. ITS SO RUDE!!!!
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 9, 2019 at 2:49 PM
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It sounds like the bride only invited you and your daughter. It's incredibly rude to leave out significant others. She's in the wrong here, so I don't think it would hurt to reach out and ask. If she doesn't budge to include your SOs, you're more than welcome to decline!
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Expert October 2019
Heather · on August 9, 2019 at 2:55 PM
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I would call her and ask her if she made a typo. Maybe she was stuffing envelopes too quickly and read the envelope as you and your daughter were a couple. I just say “hey, I just wanted to call and check. Are my husband and daughters bf invited? Or was this invitation meant solely for me and my daughter?” No harm in asking.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on August 9, 2019 at 3:00 PM
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I agree with this. Maybe she made a mistake stuffing envelopes! No harm asking for clarification
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September 2019
Amy · on August 9, 2019 at 6:04 PM
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Thank you all for the replies. We’ve known the bride and groom & both of their families for 10+ years. Bride and daughter played sports together since jr high and groom and my son did as well. There is a bridal brunch/shower next weekend, I will try to delicately approach it with her mother and future MIL then. We are all friends, which is why I’m having a hard time with the whole scenario. I appreciate all of your thoughts!
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September 2019
Amy · on August 9, 2019 at 6:05 PM
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That’s a good point - and it might not have even been her or her mother doing it. Could easily have been a family member or college friend that doesn’t know us and they just looked at the addressees.
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