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Futuremrsm
Expert October 2020

rsvp with a website

Futuremrsm, on January 22, 2020 at 3:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19
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Has anyone set up a wedding website and had people RSVP that way? I made an RSVP card to go with my invitations that say "to RSVP please go to (website address)" or gave an option to contact the mother of the bride or mother of the groom in case some of the older people cant figure out the website. My FMIL seems to have a problem with this and said she would pay for RSVP cards for people to send back in the mail. I honestly didnt want to deal with this and I know a lot of younger people don't really keep stamps around. Plus I'm trying to be environmentally friendly. My FH doesnt seem to want to tell her that this is how we are doing things and we already have it handled. What am I supposed to do in this situation? I already took the time to make a wedding website with Zola and all guest information and such is in there. I absolutely refuse to order RSVP cards.

19 Comments

Latest activity by Mob, on January 23, 2020 at 11:10 PM
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    We had all of our RSVP's come to our wedding email. I don't see an issue with having everything through your website. If she isn't paying, she should butt out. If she is paying, well she gets a say.

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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    We are paying for the wedding ourselves. She keeps fussing so much over the invitations. Apparently I didnt address the save the dates formally enough, and my FH will not tell her that we just have it handled. I'm so annoyed
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    This is exactly why we kept everything "wedding" to ourselves lol. As soon as certain people started tossing in their opinions on our wedding, that door to information shut quick. Sounds like you will have to do the same because everyone always has an opinion and it will drive you batty!

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  • Cherry
    Expert February 2020
    Cherry ·
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    We did our RSVP through the website only. Our invitation just said at the bottom: "Please RSVP Online by January 15 at www._________.com".


    Most people figured it out! We had maybe 1 or 2 who texted us that didn't understand. And we had 10 or so who didn't RSVP at all that we had to hunt down, but I think that would have happened whether they had to RSVP through the website or not. It's fine to have RSVP's through your website. Hopefully your FH will help you out by speaking up soon.

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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    We just told her we were running to the post office for stamps for the save the dates and she started asking about the invitations. She of course didnt say anything when I was telling her about them in person but then calls my FH later to criticize our way of doing them.
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    Oh boy. Has your FH talked to her and let her know that although her input is appreciated, neither of you are required to do things just because she suggests it?

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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    We did RSVPs thru our website only and had no issues! I would just tell her that it’s not her decision.
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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    He just sat on the phone with her and kept saying okay. I told him he needs to tell her that I already spent hours designing the invitations and the websites and that's what were using. No questions
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    While I don't think it is a good idea for you to talk to her about it and since your FH hasn't either, I think at this point you are just going to have to keep the remaining details to yourselves and try your best to ignore her suggestions or remarks. The last thing you want is for it to start causing issues with you and your FH when you are supposed to be planning one of the best days of your lives. I am sorry I have no better advice. Some people just cannot be dealt with in a sane manner.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Why give our her phone number? I see no problem with online RSVPs and giving a phone number in case they struggle with it, but give out your own phone number. I don’t blame her for not wanting to deal with receiving phone calls for your RSVPs
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    You’re paying for the wedding yourselves, so I wouldn’t worry about it. She can have her opinion but it doesn’t change what you and your FH do. Additionally, I would not have her name as a contact person.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    We did RSVP’s through our website and had no issues. Even the older people figured it out just fine.
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  • R
    Devoted December 2020
    Rachel ·
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    We’re going to do online RSVPs also for 90% of our invites and the others are going to be traditional mail-back for people who are not tech savvy (such as my grandmother—plus she’s going to want to mail something back anyway)
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  • Stephanie
    Savvy August 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    I agree with the others, keep on keeping on with your online RSVP, but put your name as the point of contact if anyone has trouble. I am doing the same and thankfully I haven't talked to anyone about many of the details because when I do it's always a lot of bad advice to be honest lol. You got this! xx

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  • Mob
    Dedicated May 2021
    Mob ·
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    I'm a MOB and planning is hard but I make sure to assist where needed so I leave these things to my daughter it's there day and it's for them. Maybe a meeting with her to compromise is a good idea? Make it fun cocktails and include something not done to get her input it can be something simple as a flower color or anything. It seems like she wants to be included and you guys will have plenty of talks as time progresses
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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    Shes included a lot. Shes helping my mom plan my bridal shower and shes also planning the reversal dinner. I've invited her to dress appointments etc. Not sure how much else I can involve her in. I dont want any help with planning because she keeps trying to change the themes and such and it's so overbearing.
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  • Mob
    Dedicated May 2021
    Mob ·
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    Now I understand maybe you should have that conversation with your FH than - you don't want to walk into discomfort
    I wish you the best
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  • Futuremrsm
    Expert October 2020
    Futuremrsm ·
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    Thanks so much!
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  • Mob
    Dedicated May 2021
    Mob ·
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    Your welcome I completely understand and agree with you
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