rsvp timeline? Too early? Too late?

WAY too early. If you’re concerned about your international guests, send them an e-save the date, or just *tell* them the date, so they can plan.


The reason most rsvp deadlines are so close to the wedding is that is the timeline where someone can give you an accurate answer to whether they can attend or not. Most people can’t know 6-8 months out, so if they reply then, it is meaningless — they’re replying what they *want* to do, but when the time comes they may find life circumstances get in the way, or at that point , frankly, they might just forgot . You will only find it getting more complicated for you to try to send invites out earlier than normal. The norm exists for a reason— it’s a seasoned, tried and true timeline for successful responses.

You need to do save the dates. Your situation, like most destination weddings, make the necessity for save the dates even more important. The purpose of sending STDs is to give your guests the courtesy of plenty of advance notice in order to arrange their schedules and save money to attend your wedding. Because your wedding is going to be an international destination for your guests, the considerate thing to do would be to send out STDs a year in advance, so that everyone has plenty of time to request off from work, save money, book flights early (usually much cheaper), and make hotel accommodations (as many hotels in popular destinations book up 6 mos-1 year, sometimes even more, in advance). If you are wanting an earlier RSVP date, I would send out your invitations 16 weeks before your wedding, and request an RSVP 8 weeks before the wedding date. Sending invitations 6-8 months prior to your wedding is going to be nothing but a headache for you. Guests are going to forget about it- they won’t make hotel accommodations, or book flights, etc. You will be chasing people down at the last minute because none of them will remember to RSVP. Plus, it is just not courteous to your guests to not give them ample time to begin saving money, etc. for international travel. There are tons of sites online where you can get STDs very cost effectively.

Thank you for the responses and advice Cece and Mcskipper.
Makes sense and brought in some new perspectives we didn't even think of. Deciding to send e-save the date notices 12 months in advance and do the invites 16 weeks and RSVP request at 8 weeks. I think this is the most ideal for us and more courteous to our international guests.
Again thanks for the timeline tips!

If you don’t send save the dates, you risk guests not being able to schedule time off or be able to arrange travel. Until recently, it was common to send the information to everyone on the guest list over the phone or in person 6-12 months prior with invites sent at 6-8 weeks. Email or private messages on social media if that is how you communicate is the modern alternative, but something needs to be implemented for all guests 6months before the wedding. With the invention of magnets/postcards instead, the phone call and in person information has stopped entirely because people are told incorrectly that only certain guests, not everyone, needs to know or just don’t tell anyone at all. Local guests still have the same barriers that traveling guests do: having advance notice to schedule time off.


Don’t send invites internationally before 12 weeks and domestically before 8 weeks because people will and do lose and forget the information. Also, employers do not guarantee work schedule changes before 4-5 weeks. Do not send invites 6 months ahead because people will lose them, no one can predict their schedule that far ahead and they will not take it seriously.

View Quoted Comment This sounds like a fantastic idea, and I know your guests are going to appreciate your courtesy. Out of curiosity, where are y’all getting married?

You've just explained the very reason for save the dates. You can do save the dates online as well. Then they will have your wedding website to check for updates leading you to the wedding. And you can send the invites at the right time, 12 weeks is reasonable.

View Quoted Comment San Marcos, CA! 😄

View Quoted Comment Fun! California has such beautiful weather and scenery- it’s a great location for a DW!

View Quoted Comment

I think this is a good compromise for your situation! And woo, we're doing a destination wedding in California too!!

We sent out our invites 4-5 months before the wedding. I got comments it was too early, but didn’t care. We do not have international guests, but do have guests from different states. Our RSVP date is about 6 weeks before the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Yess, lived in Los Angeles all my life and take the beautiful weather for granted most days. But we are hoping that our international guests will love their time here though!

6-8 months for invitations is way too early! Most people will forget about the invite that far out. I’d do 12 weeks for everyone. That is more than enough time for people to make travel arrangements. As far as RSVP deadline, I would stick with the standard 2-4 weeks before your wedding date.