Rsvp/ Strict Guest Limits

Address the invitation to whoever is invited and write "we have reserved __ seat(s) in your honor" on the RSVP card, and fill it in with however many seats they have. If they RSVP for more than invited, clarify that the invitation was meant for those addressed only.

1) Address your invitations specifically to who is invited (ie "John and Jane Doe." NOT "the Doe family.")

2) Fill in the number of guests who are invited on your RSVP card ("___ seats have been reserved in your honor" ... and then YOU fill in the number)

3) This is more time-consuming, but can definitely help avoid more confusion... actually write your guests' names out on their RSVP cards. And list everyone specifically who was invited (in addition to filling in __ seats have been reserved)

4) You could also put "adults only" on your details card

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How do I deal with people who ask for more RSVPs for other family or significant others?

View Quoted Comment “I am very sorry, but due to space limitations at our venue we are unable to accommodate any additional guests. We hope you will still be able to make it!”

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Thank you, this is perfect.

I covered all the bases. I am addressing the envelopes to specific people, I put *Adults only affair* on the bottom of the invites and put " we have reserves __ seats in your honor" on the RSVP card.

I agree with the wording that others have said but expect people to be upset and decline if significant others aren’t invited.

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No problem. Hopefully if you do all the things I listed above, you won't get too many people trying to do this anyway (but there's always one, right? )

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Knowing my family I anticipate there will be many people trying to do this and wanting to be the exception.

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Lol, you just have to be firm! Having that answer ready for when people ask is a great idea. But as pps said you should be prepared that people will probably not be happy/may not come if they can't bring their SOs. Honestly, if they are relatives and will presumably know other relatives, I think that is stupid because people should want to come for you and hang out with their families and not need to bring their boyfriends but... such is life lol. I'm not one to say "you have to invite everyone's boyfriends" but I am just warning that it is very likely that will cause people to be unhappy and potentially not come because of it. Whether or not you care, is up to you.

Alternately, if you don't mind doing this, it's a little faux pas but if someone asks to bring a boyfriend you could tell them there currently isn't space but that if there ends up being space later on (due to people declining the invitation) that you will let them know, and then they can bring their boyfriends. Like I said this is pretty faux pas and could also cause problems because then you'd be letting some people bring boyfriends and not others. If you were to do this, the most fair way to do it would be to allow people a +1 in the order that they asked for it. Personally I invited everyone's SOs (because most of our friends are either single, or in super longterm relationships with SOs that we are also friends with) but a couple of my friends who have shorter-term SOs, I don't think they would have minded if I said we don't have space for your boyfriend but if we get some declines, you can bring him. This is more of a "know your crowd" kinda thing though... with some people, making exceptions like this could possibly worsen it, so you'll have to be the judge of that.

It's totally fine to not invite truly single guests with plus ones, or not invite children (young, or adult). But it is incredibly rude to not invite significant others and you should absolutely account for boyfriends/girlfriends/partners/fiances - they are not "plus ones", they should be invited by name as a couple.

That said, just be specific about who you list on the invites. Ex: Mr and Mrs Smith instead of The Smith Family. Use the "____ number of seat reserved in your honor". If people write in additional guests or ask for them, just say "unfortunately the invite is for you mr. smith only - hope you can make it!"

I put "we have ____ of ____ seats reserved for you" Below that, I put "Adult Affair Only" on the RSVP.

I would say put in on the RSVP because they will 100% look at that while filling it in. If you put it on the reception card, they may say they didn't see it.