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Dedicated October 2021

rsvp reminders - when to send?

Dizzy, on September 9, 2021 at 11:54 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

We invited 125 guests to our wedding 10/23. I set the RSVP for 9/15. Over half of the guests have not replied as of today 9/9 (have a few days still).

The invites and RSVPS are all electronic. It's a fairly casual event but we do need to plan since we are making all the food apart from the cake. It's also busy season for work so will try to get things in order as much as we can before the big week. A lot of people I think assume we know they are coming, but I have no idea on +1s and stuff.

When can I start cracking the whip a bit and what would you do- contact people individually? Send out a reminder email thing (our e-vite thing sets that up for us if we want)? etc. Also I know some people probably are seeing how things are with covid, but we do need to plan.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Milada, on September 10, 2021 at 3:40 PM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Since the deadline is so close (but still more than a month before your wedding date), I think you should just wait until it passes and then follow up with each non-responder individually.

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  • E
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elise ·
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    An RSVP date of more than a month out is on the longer end (ours is a week later for Oct 16th wedding), but I know how you feel about wanting a better count. We started reaching out this week to people we are super close with or are confident are/not coming (eg. wedding party/spouses, family in other states, people who gave us a verbal commitment). Many of them just forgot to do it or thought their partner had done it. It might be a good option for you too, and can come across better than blast emails saying the rsvp date has passed? Hopefully they start pouring in soon!


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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Honestly, if you have a close relationship with some of those people I would start sending texts or making phone calls now to see where people stand. It won't hurt anything

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  • Mcskipper
    Rockstar July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    After the deadline.
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  • D
    Dedicated October 2021
    Dizzy ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah I totally hear you, it's just so crazy right now. I'm a musician as a side hustle to my day job and while a lot of stuff is getting cancelled again, we still have a lot of gigs September/October, including a short tour I'll be out of town for. I'm working 7 days a week between day job and gigging pretty much up until the wedding week (was able to take 3 days off), just need to organize what we can ahead of time. And that's with turning down some gigs too.

    We also have some of these guests coming from very far so just want them to prepare if they didn't buy flights yet (at least a couple people we just happened to talk to said they thought they had already rsvp'd but then didn't realize they didn't). I already talked to the guests from abroad who have all but one declined to come to the US right now with our covid situation. Understandable. Sigh, it sucks.

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  • Chantelle
    Devoted October 2021
    Chantelle ·
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    Our wedding is 10/10, with RSVP at 9/10 (tomorrow). Our venue requires final headcount on 9/17, so that gives me next week to follow up with people or answer any general questions/COVID safety questions that can help people decide. I plan to start follow up on Monday.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    You really should not contact before the due date. Many replies will be in your mailbox on the last day. You tally those and then immediately start contacting people who didn’t reply. It should not take more than 2 days. If they don’t respond yes or no when you call, mark them as a no.
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    I got a ton of RSVPs right at and after our deadline!! I'd wait until your deadline has passed, then send a reminder email to everyone who hasn't responded. Then a few days later you can start reaching out individually to whoever is left!

    I recommend splitting up that list of non-responders between you and your partner (and even your parents if they're willing to help out!)

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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    You shouldn't contact people until after the deadline. Especially since you don't have a vendor who is waiting on the numbers with a hard deadline for you.

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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    A RSVP date more than a month before your wedding is pretty far out. Some people might not know if they can attend yet. I’d wait until a couple of days after your RSVP date passes to reach out to anyone.
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    I would wait until after the Deadline before reaching out
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  • Milada
    Super October 2021
    Milada ·
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    Our wedding is 10/17 with the same deadline date as yours of 9/15. I sent a reminder email yesterday (9/10) because most of our guests are forgetting where to go to RSVP and were asking me about it. Maybe you could send a reminder a couple days before but make it light then start reaching out to people for definite answers after the deadline? I thought I seemed pushy but everyone said they were grateful that I was able to remind them because they thought I would be too busy or too stressed to do so? Idk but if you're closer to some than others, I would start with them first.

    We also did online RSVP so waiting for something in the mail wouldn't apply here.

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