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Dedicated April 2021

rsvp Rant

Jasmine, on March 10, 2021 at 3:40 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 27

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I’m not sure if I am being too controlling or impatient, but are any of you frustrated about waiting for your RSVPs? My wedding is on 4/22 and I sent out my invitations on 2/18 with a RSVP date of 3/20. Guests can RSVP online or by mail and I included a stamp, and the envelopes were addressed so all they have to do is drop it off. I know I am still 10 days away, but everyone is so slow at sending in their responses and it’s stressing me out. Save the dates were sent out before the holidays so people were aware of the date, I guess I just don’t understand the delay. I’m trying to be proactive in getting my seating chart done, the favors are being provided through my venue so they need plenty of time to have it packaged, and I need to give the final table number to my florist. I know people are still trying to gauge how things will be regarding COVID but as we know it’s constantly changing but it won’t be going anywhere by April. And I keep telling myself people have to make arrangements because their lives aren’t centered around my wedding, I’m just getting so antsy. I want to start calling people and asking them to reply, but I’m trying to be patient. This is more of a rant but has anyone else felt this way.

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27 Comments

Latest activity by 1120Kj, on June 11, 2021 at 11:39 PM

Super June 2021
Melanie · on March 10, 2021 at 5:52 AM
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Completely reasonable to be stressed, as you have so much to do last minute, but definitely just wait it out until 3/20 before calling people. I'm sure just about every bride feels this way! But there's some people who can't request time off far in advance, so you may have some guests who are still trying to figure that out. Some people also just wait until the last day to rsvp and you should also consider the post offices have been running slower than normal. Unfortunately, while your wedding is at the top of your list of things to think about, it's not on your guests' and they'll rsvp when they have time.
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Liz · on March 10, 2021 at 5:53 AM
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Even in non-COVID times, responses tend to come in right before the deadline. You’ve still got lots of time to your RSVP deadline, time to give final numbers to the vendors who need them, and can follow-up with non-responders towards the end of next week if you need to.
I completely empathise with the antsy-ness you’re feeling, but the best thing to do right now is probably to take lots of deep breaths and find something else to focus on.
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Expert June 2021
· on March 10, 2021 at 5:53 AM
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I think what you mentioned could be the issue, guests are probably trying to gauge the covid situation before making a final decision and they see you want your rsvps a month before the wedding and a lot can happen in that time. My fiancé and I drafted up a safety note of the precautions, number of attendees, even the seating charts so guests can make a well informed decision knowing exactly what to expect. I figure if people are anything like me during this pandemic they will need a clear picture of what to expect when going to events during these crazy times. Maybe a small note will help your guests in rsvping sooner. I put on our note even if it’s a decline just let us know. I honestly think it’s about covid and trying to see what will be or if they’ll get a vaccine by then. I had a relative tell me if her husband wasn’t vaccinated by then they weren’t going, luckily he received his first dose recently and she already got hers a month or so ago. So it could be a large number of things pertaining to covid.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on March 10, 2021 at 6:49 AM
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Can totally relate with you! People who don’t RSVP suck! I mean how difficult is it to mark a card & send it back in an envelope that’s already stamped??? Work on something else & don’t concentrate on this. Don’t start reaching out to them until 3/21.
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Super April 2021
Tiger Bride · on March 10, 2021 at 7:42 AM
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Our RSVP deadline is today and honestly we started texting people to ask if they got the invite and gently prod them for a response on Monday or so. Partially because I was impatient and partially because we had heard people weren't getting them.

We still have 40 no responses which annoys me a bit, since I know these people aren't going to let us know today.
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Dedicated June 2021
Ana · on March 10, 2021 at 7:42 AM
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I would defiantly call or have my mom call our side and MOL or fiancé call their side! Weddings are expensive and people have to be considerate! If they’re not coming you need to know so you can make arrangements accordingly!
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on March 10, 2021 at 8:59 AM
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There is really nothing you can do till after the deadline. Then you contact anyone who didn't reply. However most arrive on the last day.
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Expert March 2021
Marcia · on March 10, 2021 at 9:03 AM
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Yes you're being unreasonable, give people to the date you set to RSVP. In the meantime, distract yourself
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Dedicated April 2021
Lynn · on March 10, 2021 at 9:12 AM
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I’m in the same boat as you. I mailed my invitations 2/14 for my wedding 4/17 . The rsvp are supposed to be back to me 3/12 and they are slowly coming in. My wedding was postponed but I sent out my new std in August so everyone knew. The thing that gets me is everyone was asking be when am I sending the invitations before I sent them and now it’s like why are you taking soo long. One of my aunts texted my mom well I have until 3/12like really
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Devoted April 2021
Allison · on March 10, 2021 at 9:20 AM
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SAME! My RSVPs are also due 3/20 and I'm almost at the point where I'm going to start texting my friends to remind them to RSVP because I'm so impatient to get responses back haha I just want to know who's coming and who's not! I totally get trying to gauge the COVID situation but I know for sure there are a number of people who already know they can't attend. We just did online RSVPs so it's not even that I have to wait for the mail to come. I'm trying so hard to not obsessively stalk my website/email to see if any new responses have come in.
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Dedicated April 2021
Jasmine · on March 10, 2021 at 9:33 AM
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I think a large part is due to COVID like you said and I definitely don’t want to pressure people to step outside of their comfort zones. I know a few family members I have talked to are trying to see if they will be able to get both doses of their vaccine before the wedding.
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Dedicated April 2021
Jasmine · on March 10, 2021 at 9:35 AM
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I had one of my aunts and grandma pretty much say the same thing! They said they’re 100% coming, so why not send in the RSVP?
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Devoted April 2021
Michelle · on March 10, 2021 at 10:08 AM
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I think most have went through this or are goign through it but you need to wait until your RSVP date has expired to reach out. I reached out to guest on the deadlines day and most of them did wait until that day to RSVP. Its more like that now because everyone waits to see whats going on with covid
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on March 10, 2021 at 11:27 AM
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Even pre-Covid, this is common. Some people do it right away and others wait until the last minute. My wedding was pre-Covid, and the majority of my RSVPs came the day of my deadline. That's just the way people are. Wait until 3/20, and then on 3/21 reach out to those who haven't responded and follow up with them.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on March 10, 2021 at 11:37 AM
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In their day, reply cards were possibly not a thing or their social circles would reply by word of mouth as was originally how things were done.
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Expert September 2021
· on March 10, 2021 at 11:37 AM
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Totally reasonable! I decided to only do online RSVPs because of issues I've seen with RSVP cards being lost in USPS or totally forgotten about. I, personally, submit my RSVP right away if I know I'll be attending. Most people have an idea of whether or not they're going - but sometimes push these tedious things to the back burner, not realizing the bride is probably stressing over it.
You can't do much until a little closer to your deadline. I would probably remind them a few days out to try to RSVP online if you haven't already received their cards!
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Expert April 2022
Fred · on March 10, 2021 at 1:03 PM
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Your feelings are valid because covid or not , every couples have to deal with a good amount of guests who wait until the last minute or don't respond at all by the time of the deadline , you'll have to track them down.
You and your partner should contact them a couples day before as a reminder and,why not, ask both sets of parents to help you out.
Good luck!
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Expert April 2021
Melody · on March 10, 2021 at 2:27 PM
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People are so different when it comes to responding to weddings! I dropped off an invitation for a couple that FH and I are friends with about a week and a half ago and they told me on the spot that they would absolutely be there and to mark them down as a yes. I gave an invitation to my church's worship pastor and her husband a couple days before I gave the invite to the other couple and they haven't responded. The worship pastor is playing a song during the ceremony while FH and I take communion, so she's obviously going to be there. Essentially, what I have to take away from this is that people are so different and they don't run on our schedules.
I have anxiety disorder and am VERY much a planner, so I completely understand the stress and desire to have all of the information right now. My best suggestion would be to shoot a text to those you still haven't heard from a week before the deadline asking if they received their invitation. (With the way USPS is right now, it wouldn't surprise me if some mailed invitations never actually made it to their destination.) If they have, just give a light reminder of when the RSVP deadline is. If they haven't, provide them with all the info and give a few days extension on that deadline if you can. I wouldn't start calling until after the deadline, though. Calling before the deadline can come off as rude and insensitive to what may be going on in their lives and schedules.
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Savvy July 2021
1120Kj · on April 5, 2021 at 9:28 PM
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Going through same thing i did hat you did and i was advised to earlier than i wanted now i want a answer lol .... ppl adding plus ones and be doing word of mouth she know i coming NO i need my stamp card back ... i decided not call ppl for the save date been sent out ... and when we now have calendars on phones and refrigerator magnets ...no online has looked at website or spoke to other family friends of them attending ...i will be sending out teting and call on rsvp date stating seating is closed for covid i have limit and need proceed on planning wedding needs
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Dedicated April 2021
Jasmine · on April 5, 2021 at 10:45 PM
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I’m glad the RSVP stage is over. But like you said because of COVID we have limited seating and I did not track people down. Once the RSVP date passed I took the option off of our website. Everyone had their save the dates before the holidays and they had their invites for well over a month before they had to RSVP.
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