RSVP Rant - My friends suck

Lol. For our friend's wedding I heard some of our friends talking about how they got the RSVP card and threw it away instantly and sent the Groom-to-be a text saying they were coming. Obviously, the groom didn't relay this information to the Bride-to-be so it caused a disaster. It happens. Everyone has those friends. You just have to ask them, unfortunately.

A "nice" way to call them is to call and to let them know you sent an invitation and wondered if it was received or lost in the mail. "I just wanted to make sure you received your invitation..." That opens up the door to the question of "we need your response by _____." I had 2 friends who either lost their invitations or they weren't delivered. And 2 friends who mailed their RSVPs and I never got them. (or at least they said they mailed them)

Anyway...this puts the blame on the postal service (whether true or not) and does not make it seem as if you are blaming the guest. (and yes, I wanted to send a copy of Emily Post or Miss Manners to the non-responders--ugh)

Only 2 of DH's friends (out of 12) RSVP'd. They are all in their early 20's and had never been to a wedding before. We had to call/text all of them to ask if they planned on coming.

The majority of people that didn't RSVP for our wedding were FH's family (he checked with his aunts), my family members and my side of the bridal party. I made my father check with his "side" (his sister and her daughters and grandchildren) and I know my bridesmaids are yeses but seriously why would people think they don't need to RSVP.

@Kathleen unfortunately I can't use that excuse, since they're all MY friends! haha.

@OldFashionedBride I hear you about Emily Post! My mom bought me the Emily Post's Etiquette book last Christmas, and I have used it all through planning. Thanks for the suggestion though, to blame it on the USPS.

@Kimberly I wish I could say that was the case with my friends, but none of them are under the age of 25 and are all either married, or have been to weddings. I know, because I've been to weddings WITH them!

I would get ahold of them however you could (phone call, text, fb message, whatever is appropriate for you). If you need a head count, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm REALLY hoping my RSVP's go well. My venue wants a detailed head count (broken down by who wants what meal eek).

I hope you get it figured out ASAP!

Yes - definitely contact them. It doesn't make you the bad guy. You need to know!

I had to contact many of my friends, and most just texted/emailed/called back saying they forgot. The best responses were, "Oh, I had to send that back?" (uh, yeah...you do!) and, "Sorry, I was sick and forgot!" (Ok, but you had six weeks to respond, and you were just sick the last weekend they were due...)

We got all of our RSVP cards back right away from the older generation of guests we invited. Anyone over 55 responded promptly. Most of the people we had to chase down were in the 20-40 age range!

Eh...this happens. Sorry you lost and that you have to do the following up. It isn't fun but it can be a good excuse to chat it up with your friends and just touch base. It doesn't just have to be all stressful RSVP talk.

I feel so bad I did this to a friend - I see her often and figured I would just tell her in person. 2 days before her RSVP deadline I was on WW and realized that was a major no no especially with all the time it takes to address and stamp envelopes! I felt horrible but did make the deadline by one day!

Yeah, I know I'm the one who has to make the calls/messages/texts. It's just one more thing to add to my to-do list. I figure I'll wait until Monday or Tuesday next week, just in case some people decide to mail them on the due date. I might start with a Facebook reminder, and if that doesn't prompt people, I'll step it up to texts/calls. We have to give the venue final counts by the end of the month, so there's a little leeway there, thankfully.

@DanieGee I kind of want to be like "Quit wasting our postage on those pre-stamped envelopes!" Haha

Update - we did get a response from two of my high school friends today, so that's two less people for me to follow up with! Yay!

My rsvp date is tomorrow!! We don't have half of them back... Ugh. I'm dreading calling everyone!! Thought I would give them till mid-week next week then I will start bugging them!! If I wasn't so cheap I wouldn't care, but I'm not paying for all that food!! Lol Happy Friday!!

I would call them. I think it's fine to have your MOH or a family member call as well. My friend had the same issue with the young people. (However, she didn't put stamps on her RSVPs either, and when I received it I was out of stamps and put it aside to do later and almost forgot to respond in time.) I plan on using postcards and stamping them all so maybe it will make it easier/more likely for people to respond.

I would definitely call. You don't want people showing up that you didn't financially account for or reserve a seat for.