RSVP Question - What is the etiquette on this?

I also want to add that she knows a ton of people that are coming to the wedding.

I mean personally I wouldn't care. You were already going to pay for two people but I guess it's your call.

At least she wont let the food go to waste. A lot of people hate to go anywhere alone even if they know people.

Your invited guests are individuals, not tokens where any one is equivalent to any other. Invitations are non-transferable, and it is super rude of her to expect you to be fine with her bringing someone else instead of the person who is actually invited. You have every right under etiquette to tell her no.

BUT...personally I would let it go. I would rather let her bring her friend than deal with the awkwardness of refusing to allow that person to come.

You budgeted for the person, so it's not a cost issue, but it would have been nice if she asked first.

You COULD say, "I'm sorry but the invitation is only for those who I've addressed it to, so I'm sorry but I'm going to have to say no. Let me know if you'd still like to come. There will be plenty of people that you will know there in case you're worried about not knowing anyone." Also, if this is an intimate wedding, this excuse could work. I would just be prepared for a possible confrontation.

I do feel you on this. I wouldn't want a guest to replace their spouse with someone else - I want those declines (lol). This has already happened with one of FH's guests, and I decided I'm not fighting that battle - it's not worth it for ONE person.

Ultimately, it's up to you on how you want to handle it. Decide if it's worth it though...

eta: grammar

It's definitely rude on her part to assume that she can just substitute someone else in. You would be within your rights to say invited guests only. I personally would just let it go though, you were already paying for two plates and it's not worth the drama.

@GymRat, I've been looking for some declines too! When sending out that invitation, I was obviously prepared to pay for 2 people. So, that's not a big deal. I think I just want her to know that she is being rude! Ugh, I guess I'll have to think on this one before I respond to her.

Super rude on her part, but at the end of the day will you really notice?

Personally I'd let it go, but I haven't had to start dealing with invitations yet so that may change down the line

No, I wouldn't want her bringing a random friend. The invitation was addressed to her and her boyfriend. Give her until the RSVP deadline to let you know if she will be attending with her boyfriend, solo, or not attending.

Not the hill I'd choose to die on. It might be an UO but I don't think it's a big deal.

At my sister's wedding, instead of her husband's great aunt and uncle, they sent their college aged granddaughter and her boyfriend to the wedding in their place. It was awkward, they didn't know anyone at the wedding, not even the bride and groom...but they "always wanted to visit California" and it was open bar...

I would let it go. People don't like to come to weddings alone.

I'm definitely numbering my RSVP's! Started that last night.

Wow, @TamraTexas, that's ridiculous.

Think if you were in her shoes and your husband couldn't come. Would you want to bring a friend? I would.

Same thing happened to me. I address it to Mr. And Mrs. So and So. He isn't coming because he doesn't like 'these kind of functions' so she's bringing her sister. Pissed me off at first but I don't really care now. It's not proper etiquette but is it worth the drama? Nope. I invited 2 people and 2 people are coming.

While i think it is rude that she didn't *ask* if it was ok if she subbed a different guest in for her bf, I don't think its worth fighting her over it. Some people feel more comfortable going to events with someone (even if they will know the other people there). if she had asked to bring an additional guest on the other hand, that would be a hard no.

I had the same thing happen to me! This friend originally declined but said she was still gonna work on it (she's OOT in MN and the wedding is in CA). 2.5 weeks before the wedding she tells me she's able to make it after all. AND she has a plus 1 (which I thought would be her husband)....nope, she's bringing her sister. Why are people so inconsiderate? I told her it's fine but I would NEVER do that to someone else. Wth is wrong with people and etiquette and consideration and all kinds of other stuff lol

It is rude, but I would let it go. Don't let something like that upset you, you were paying for that plate either way. I also get not wanting to go alone to a wedding.

My mother did this to me. Her boyfriend is unable to make it so she's bringing her room mate, who I've never met and frankly don't like what I've heard about them. But I just told her that person is her problem if she brings them since to me, trying to tell someone who doesn't understand that it's rude, why it's rude, is a pain in my rear and not worth the trouble. So I'm team just let it go, but you could mention that the invite was specifically for the people who's names were on it and that you are happy to accommodate her friend instead of boyfriend day of, but she should have asked instead of just telling you she would do it.

She should have asked and you are within your rights to say "I'm sorry, the invite is for named guests" if you feel uncomfortable with people you don't know at all there, but I don't think pointing out that she's being rude is any less rude.