rsvp on save the dates?

You can’t expect people to already know if they’ll be available next September. So many things could change for them between now and then.

It's way too early for people to be able to give an accurate answer. You'll have some people committing who then end up being unable to come and others who say no because they aren't 100% sure if they can be there but end up being able to go. It's just not practical. People don't know if they can get time off work, financial situations can change, they could lose their job, get pregnant, move countries, break up etc. A lot changes in a year and if these people are important enough to invite to your wedding then you should want to maximise the chance of them being able to accept by putting the RSVP in a reasonable timeframe.

This is just one of those costs you have to accept. Send invitations to everyone you're inviting. If you want to save money, find a cheaper invitation or just let people know the date verbally or through email so you spend money on STDs.

Save the dates are just that, a note asking your guests to save the date. There shouldn't be any expectation of a response. If your planned invitations, which are sent to everyone you sent a std, are so costly that you are wanting to limit who you send them to, you should figure out another invitation option.

Choosing to minimize the number of elaborate invitations you send by not following etiquette standards will have people speaking poorly of you. A recent wedding I attended sent expensive, multi part invitations, but the hosts chose to limit the number sent by not sending adults their own invitations but rather including them on their parents'. People spoke poorly of them. A lot of people. People whom I suspect they thought wouldn't care but they did, and they were hurt. If they had sent inexpensive invitations to everyone invited no one would have had any thoughts about it.

Invitations are what you send to people to find out if they're coming, not just to people who you know are coming. What you're proposing might not make sense to people. Maybe since you're doing a cruise, you could send out simple invitations to find out who is coming and then send a fuller packet of information only to those who plan to come? It sounds like you'd need to have info early anyway.

I wouldn't call it tacky, but I would call it unrealistic. Why would I commit to something to which I have yet to be invited? Most people aren't going to be able to commit until they have all the information.

Your wedding invitations don't need to be any more elaborate than anyone else's. Include a details card and refer them to your website for more information.

Save the Dates, and their postage, are totally unnecessary. For the previous years people made a phone call, wrote a letter on plain stationery or emailed or faxed information to those people who needed to make advanced travel plans. Saves can be a trap, if you have a falling our or drift apart after the saves go out, or have to cut your guest list, you are stuck having to invite people once they have been sent a save. So skip saves, and talk with or send info to those who need to make travel plans,, And just talk to closest friends and family. Save money here. Skip matching pocket squares, or cake toppers, or favors to economize. Get a single gift for BM just before the wedding, no silly proposal gifts, a recent trend that needs to die. If you have a registry, register for two boxes of 100 or more Thank you cards. And plain stationery with tour names printed in them, and one envelope for every two sheets. Some people like to give that sort of thing to brides for showers. Save you buying them. But do not send one all purpose Save with RSVP card early, and invitations only to those who reply. Previous posters said why. You are right to economize, just do it with the right things.

You cant send invites to only the people that are actually coming. Lots of people get excited and say yes to the save the date and then when the time comes, plans fall through, things change, etc.

I would send save the dates as soon as possible. I would also have your website on your save the date and your website with very detailed information so you could increase the number of folks likely to come.

View Quoted Comment I beg to differ that save the dates are a waste. They are a modern invention because before people didnt plan weddings for years, weddings were smaller, people went as busy, more people lived locally, you just didnt need them.
I think for destination or weddings with a lot of out of towners, some sort of advance notice is a must if you want them to attend. It can be email or whatever form but it is needed and dont need to be the big to-do people make them currently.

What’s the point of the invitations if people have already RSVPd?

View Quoted Comment I agree people need advance notice, which is why I suggested writing, calling, emailing or faxing the information well in advance. It is paying for commercial Save the Date cards, magnets, etc., that is something unnecessary, when there are cheaper ways to send the same information. And people have given distant friends and relations information about upcoming weddings 6 months to a year in advance for over a century. People used mail and phone and telegram 6 months to a year before a wedding , That is not new. New this past 20 years is selling special cards or magnets to do it. My parents and grandparents still have letters and telegrams from 40-65 years ago with far in advance information so they could plan a trip to Finland ir Denmark from here, for siblings nit in the US. And Train rides to Wyoming or Montreal or Albany, big plans to make in advance. Look in old etiquette books , in the 1920's people sent advance notice, all the way through 1990's. For a cruise, ir a resort, or long tea el, notice has always been needed. Just not at the cost of special stationery sold as Saves. These days, email is free. Faxing, free if you have a machine. But if spending as little money as possible on the process is a goal, no need to pay for Save the dates.