RSVP in waves. A-list and B-List

Our original list was at about 425. We were only allowed 400, so we had what we called a "Gray List". We sent out our first Invitations about eight weeks before the wedding, as we got responses from people NOT attending, we sent out additional invites from our "Gray List". It worked really well, we did end up calling some people at the last minute, but our total attendance was about 380. We also used facebook a lot to get in touch with our college friends-it is okay to check in on people, especially in your situation. If they haven't responded three weeks after you sent the invitation, feel free to call and check in. Good luck!

I did something similar to this, but didn't utilize the "waves" idea. I had a lot of relatives that I "had to invite" to be polite, but most of them were on the B-list as I was sure they would not be able to make it. My judgement turned out well, because, of the 20 or so parties on the B-list it ended up that only 1 of them would be able to make it. Once I received this information I was able to start inviting friends that would be able to make it, in lieu of obscure family members that I had to invite as a formality.

My fear about this is the B list people realizing they are List B by not getting an invite the same time as others. They can easily tell by a postage date.

Just be careful not to make it too obvious. Also, make sure B list does NOT get Save-the-dates if you do them otherwise if you can't get around to inviting them, they'll be mad. Or opt not to do save-the-dates at all so no know knows.

I like Amanda's idea of inviting the B list first and finding out how many are actually attending or not attending. Then sending out the invitations for everyone else.