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Veronica
Expert August 2020

rsvp frustration

Veronica, on March 12, 2020 at 8:36 PM Posted in Planning 0 20
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So our wedding is coming up in May and we sent out our invitations a few weeks ago and we set our RSVP deadline to be in April a month before our venue needs the final numbers but WOW we are barely getting any we invited 112 people and so far only 37 have responded! I check the mail everyday just to be disappointed by nothing there 馃槶馃ズ



20 Comments

  • Chantal
    Expert August 2020
    Chantal
    • Flag

    People might be holding off to see if the virus situation improves. I'm sorry to hear that, though! I also know that a lot of people wait until a month before (so, closer to your deadline) to make sure they can commit

    • Reply
  • Neeva
    Rockstar September 2020
    Neeva
    • Flag

    My RSVP date was yesterday and am missing 67 RSVPs. At least say no people!!!

    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Expert August 2020
    Veronica
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Omg that would make me so frustrated we鈥檙e still waiting on over 70+ people 馃槶 I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 the virus since we鈥檙e having a local wedding but I鈥檓 just like c鈥檓om why is everyone like this waiting till the last moment
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle
    • Flag
    Some people also don鈥檛 do it to the very last minute just to sort out their own schedules and stuff
    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Rockstar August 2020
    Kathryn
    • Flag
    We had a lot of late responders before the virus scare, but now I would suspect that a lot of people are for sure waiting things out. Breath. It's impossible to predict the future, and in the long run this is one day. There are a lot of emotions, and I would take it day by day. You got this! Hopefully things will work out just like they're meant to.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan
    • Flag

    Even without the virus, this is incredibly, incredibly common. Most wait until more-or-less the last minute.

    • Reply
  • Marie
    Dedicated April 2020
    Marie
    • Flag
    What are y鈥檃ll gonna do about those late rsvpers? Are you gonna call or email them?
    • Reply
  • Kelsi
    Expert June 2020
    Kelsi
    • Flag
    I can鈥檛 even get my bridal party/parents/siblings to RSVP 馃槀 I feel your pain!
    • Reply
  • Tiffany
    Expert March 2020
    Tiffany
    • Flag
    I'm really sorry. This is me this week. My deadline is this week and my wedding is in 30 days. I did all online rsvp's. We invited 173 people (adults and kids) and on Wednesday we had about 50 yes, some declines and almost 100 unresponded. Yikes. It's so hard. I'm making myself wait until the deadline officially passes to hunt people down. I expressed frustration to my FH and mom and they both reached out to some people and got some more answers, so that was good! Hope it turns out alright for you
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith
    • Flag
    It really doesn't pay to send out invitations earlier than the usual time of arrival in 8 weeks before the wedding. It does not get answers faster for most. You gave people 12 weeks. But many employers do work schedules only 4-6 weeks ahead, and many people are not guaranteed a day off until 30 days or less before it happens. If someone does not have saves from other relatives or friends whom they think are planning a wedding sometime in May, and do not know if they are invited, they will wait til April when any possible invitations for May have arrived, before choosing which to go to. It does not matter that your invitation came first. People go to the wedding of the people they are closest to, or decide by cost and travel, or decide that they can only go to 2 of 5 possible weddings in a month of time. If you are immediately family or very best friend, you may be an automatic choice. But some people marry only 3 months after being engaged, so they get out invitations a month from the wedding. If people say yes to a friend, then Hubby's brother turns out to be the same day. They would change answers. So most with multiple important things, babies and marriages and graduations and such, want to wait til 4-5 weeks out , or less, when all possible invitations are out. At least a third likely will not answer til 3-4 weeks out, many because they just don't know about work, or someone's upcoming surgery or whatever, the rest have more than one invitation issues. Some spring and summer months, we are invited to as many as 6 weddings, 3-4 graduations we would travel to, or other big deals. Answering 1 early makes a mess. 馃檪 Makes you crazy waiting, though, doesn't it?
    • Reply
  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky
    • Flag

    It sounds like you set your RSVP date too early, if it's a whole month before your venue needs the numbers. That combined with the COVID-19 stuff means that many people won't know that far out whether or not they're able to attend.

    • Reply
  • Monica
    Super October 2020
    Monica
    • Flag
    Lol get used to it! You will be excited to check the mail EVERYDAY to find nothing. Or 1 at a time! And I only had 3-4ppl rsvp online.
    • Reply
  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee Online
    • Flag
    Sounds like you gave people too much time to respond and maybe even sent the invitations a little too early. Which sounds crazy. Especially with this virus going on, I can assume folks are going to wait until late March to respond. Graduations are happening, it鈥檚 about to wedding season and travel time for a lot of folks. They could still be looking for the right flight purchase window which could alter their response. You鈥檒l be hunting folks down for sure, but for now no one is late so go with the flow.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Super October 2020
    Margaret
    • Flag
    I wouldn鈥檛 worry yet. There is still plenty of time before your RSVPs are due.


    I plan corporate events all the time, and we al know our work schedules, everyone still waits till the absolute last minute to respond. It鈥檚 very frustrating.
    • Reply
  • Susan
    Devoted October 2020
    Susan
    • Flag
    SAME!!! How hard is it to check off a box and stick it in the pre addressed and pre stamped envelope and mail it back!? Jeez.
    • Reply
  • Nefetera
    Rockstar March 2015
    Nefetera Online
    • Flag
    No worries you still have time
    • Reply
  • Cassie
    Savvy August 2020
    Cassie
    • Flag
    I鈥檝e been struggling with this also and it鈥檚 been causing a lot of anxiety and stress. Our date is at the end of May and I sent out invites a little early because most of our guests are out of state. We have a food and beverage minimum we have to meet and I鈥檓 worried we won鈥檛 have enough people. I just hope that we start getting responses within the next couple of weeks leading into April.
    • Reply
  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey
    • Flag

    From my experience with my RSVP's, some guests wait until the week or two before the RSVP is due to send it out. We had a couple of guests put their response back in their mailbox to be returned to us on the actual RSVP date. My husband and I gave our guests an extra 5 business days before we started reaching out to them to get their responses if we did not receive one.


    Also, with the coronavirus scares going on right now, some guests may be waiting to see what happens in their area before responding. Others may be waiting to hear back from work as to whether or not they can get the time off. When waiting for our replies and keeping track of who's came back first, I noticed most of our out-of-town guests replied later than our local guests. They had to make sure they could get off of work, book fights, hotels, rental cars (if needed), and so on.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP April 2020
    Kristen
    • Flag
    Same! We invited about 195, only 50 responses including us and our immediate families and wedding party. So really only about 30.
    • Reply
  • Tonilynn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Tonilynn
    • Flag
    Girl I did the same thing lol mine is may 24th and my rsvp date back is April 5th sooo go ahead and do your thing lol and call the people who don鈥檛 respond and at least ask no biggie !! If it鈥檚 work stuff they can say yes I plan on attending but bc of work I can only give x amount of days in advance.
    • Reply

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