rsvp for non responders

I wouldn’t send anything else in the mail to them, but contact them via phone, text, or email to get a response.

I wouldn’t do that. I would reach out a couple of days after your deadline via phone, email or FB and ask if they plan to attend. If you get the run around, simply tell them that you have to give the caterer/venue the final number immediately. People can be ridiculous.

I absolutely would not spend any more money on postage for rude people who didn’t RSVP haha. I’d simply call them and confirm that they can’t attend (maybe they didn’t get the invite?).

I would personally contact them with a different medium than mail. For example, I send my godmother a mother’s day card a week before mother’s day. She lives in North Carolina, I’m in New York. I just got the card returned to me last week, saying the address was invalid. I had to contact my uncle to see if I had put the correct address. I had, but they use a PO Box, so the mail isn’t going to their house anymore. The point is, it took a month for me to get the card returned to me, so a similar situation could have happened with your invites - people may not have gotten them. I would call (if you have a big guest list, split it up between you and FS or mom or bridal party) and contact those who didn’t RSVP to just let them know you never received a response and you need your final headcount, but didn’t want to count them out.

I will always share my cautionary tale to ideas like this. We hadn’t received an rsvp from H’s uncle (a bit odd bc he had talked to my MIL at length about plans to attend). We DID reach out to him to follow up to make sure we had a concrete answer. He assured us he would definitely be there, and swore up and down he had mailed his rsvp. We shrugged it off, figuring he was the type who would’ve forgotten to drop it in the mail but not want to admit it. ....Lo and behold, 2 weeks AFTER our wedding occurred, we found a VERY beat up/crinkled envelope in our mailbox— it was his RSVP! I checked the envelope and sure enough, it had been post-marked *before* our rsvp date! Who knows what dark corner of the post office it spent a few weeks in. But moral of the story: anything can happen , mail gets lost , the post office screws up. So give guests the benefit of doubt, and follow up. IF they don’t respond to your follow up, by all means, go for a “if I don’t hear from you by X date we’ll have to mark you as not attending” but, give them a second chance first, just in case something happened and it wasn’t their fault.

Honestly, I like where you’re coming from with this idea but I think it would put people off. It would be a great way for you to have closure and it would feel like you have a better grasp on your head count because you basically told everyone who hasn’t RSVPed that it’s too late so that sucks. I think a lot of people don’t rsvp because they don’t want to hurt feelings if they say no. But, we can’t control other people. Clearly these people haven’t thrown a wedding or they would know how annoying that is. I say you will get the some type of closure if you just call/text everyone and ask them straight up rather then sending a whole other piece of mail. Plus something to think about is what if you get someone’s RSVP for yes after you’ve already sent them that note and they were just late 🤔 that awkward!

I just called or texted people. I don't think you need to go as far as to send out more mail.

View Quoted Comment

True.....I’m going to give the mail until Monday a full week after the deadline and thats being generous because our RSVP website sent reminder text messages out about 5 days before final due date....I’m thinking we don’t need to keep asking and contacting people just let them know thanks but no thanks