rsvp Follow-up

I think it’s rude- the only thing I can think of is maybe waiting about restrictions or covid updates 🥴
Either way they should tell you!

I would just ask them if they plan on coming due to yoy having to let your venue know a final headcount.

I definitely think it is rude that they didn't reply. I would have your fiance reach out to those on his side and you reach out to those on your side. This way all of the responsibility doesn't fall on just you.

You’re way nicer than me! If they didn’t respond by May 15th, then they aren’t coming to mine. I hate when people are punctual and meet deadlines..it’s rude. But, maybe that’s just the teacher in me!

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Also a teacher! It certainly drives me crazy but I can only think of the hot mess it would be if they show up anyway and there is no meal for them.

It's rude but it's also kind of expected. There will always be people who just forget or whatever. I just called people and said, "hey, I need to get a final headcount to my caterer so I wanted to follow up with you about whether or not you'll be able to join us." Polite and straight to the point. All the people were able to give me an answer right then and there, so I updated my list accordingly.

View Quoted Comment LOL- that would be awkward, but also their fault. You should probably just reach out but if anyone hasn’t decided yet, I would count as a no.

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Agree with this. But I would not send a reminder of any kind before the due date. Most replies will come in on the last day.

We have 4 couples we texted after missing the deadline and they STILL haven’t answered. I’m not chasing people. I’m marking them as a no.

We had (I think) 24 people/groups we needed to contact after our RSVP deadline. My husband texted the people on his side and I texted those on mine. I drafted a template that he and I sent to our respective people, just filling in the correct information. This is what it said:

"Hi XXXX. I hope you're doing well! Just wanted to see if you (and XXXX) are going to be able to make it to the wedding or not. If so, please let me know by this Sunday, Aprill 11th, as we'd like to ensure there's enough food and drink for everyone. Thank you so much and we hope to see you soon!"

We got responses back pretty much immediately from most people, though there were a couple on his side that we had to wait a day or two for. If we hadn't heard back from people, we would have followed up with them the day before we had to give final numbers to the venue. That follow up would have basically said, "If we don't get a response from you today then you're being marked as a no and there may not be enough food for you." But, you know, politely.

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I'm the same way, if people don't respond I just assume they aren't coming - I guess in the current state of things invites can get lost in the mail....

I actually sent these texts to my no-answers this morning! it is super annoying that putting a card in the mail is so hard for some.

I kept it super casual and sent a text that said

"Hey ***! Hope all is well, are we going to see you at the wedding next month? We are finalizing our numbers with the caterer this week and I want to make sure you (and your family) are accounted for! You can see the menu options and RSVP right through the website www.***********.com thanks!"

This totally blows my mind how often this happens. When I get a formal invitation with a formal RSVP card I usually get it filled out a half a second after opening, because let's be honest how many of the guests don't already know this event is happening. I have to say I've never been surprised by getting a wedding invitation in the mail I didn't already expect to receive.

Ugh, agreed, it blows my mind how people simply... don't respond. And then seem shocked when they are not accounted for in the numbers. For work events I can be a bit more facetious, so I often include things like:

"Please respond by x date if you wish to be included in the numbers for catering etc. If you have not responded, you'll need to bring a chair and a sandwich, as neither will be provided for you!"

The other ladies have given some great templates that are a little less blunt though, haha!

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Both invitations and RSVP cards can and do get lost in the mail. I've had both happen to me as a guest.

Chasing down RSVP's was my least favorite thing. Everyone got their invites but many simply just did not RSVP. We were able to get clarity either way with a phone call or text. The one I loved the most was a "I'm definitely coming and MAYBE bringing a guest." Um, no! I need to know if you are bringing a guest so we have space so I set a firm deadline a few days ahead to get that answer. It worked. I simply think some people are just not good at following through, and then I think there are some people who don't understand how weddings work and think they can simply come and be accommodated.

I thought this was a midwestern thing but apparently all 50 states are prone to it. Here is how I handled it the first time I got married in the early 90's no social media, no texting.

Me: "Hi! I see you have not RSVP'd. Can you make it? I need to get the number to the caterer."

Them: "Hmm...not sure, we are not sure if we are free......."

Me: "Okay, I take that as a no and that is okay! Let's meet up for dinner after the wedding to catch up! See you later!"

All hemming and hawing is taken as a no, and EXPRESS THAT. Our wedding is not a second choice option for a Saturday night.

People seem to think it is A OK to not respond to the invite for two people then show up with their two kids. Yeah......no.

It’s rude. I had my mom asking some because they go on my wedding wire website and don’t think they need to tell me. Basically I said to my mom if they don’t respond they a no. Most couldn’t even tell me or my mom they had to be asked by their sister was a messenger. Then one of them posts on my cousin’s wall like looked like fun wish I was there or some bs I’m like oh right the one who can’t even say I’m coming you had to tell your sister. Lol


My wedding was 8/8/20 and party was 4/24/21. So had to go after them 2x. Thankfully I didn’t go after these people because they would've been a no and that was it. I didn’t think it was that hard to go on a website go to poll of saying hi I’m coming or no I’m not.
(I know who I’m just not answering when their kids get married 🤷🏼‍♀️)