RSVP Follow-Up Wording

I hope you mean you'll contact them a few days AFTER the RSVP date has passed. Sometimes they put it in the mail on the RSVP date.

Calling would be quickest but then you may be putting them on the spot. I would suggest splitting it between you and FH since it is your wedding and not your mom's.

If you're sending a followup electronically, there may be a chance that the recipient won't receive the email/text/private message and you may end up having to call anyways. You could write something similar to:

Hi there! We wanted to check in and make sure you received your invitation. RSVPs were due (date) and we haven't received one from you yet.

We are looking forward to celebrating with everyone so we hope you can make it. It wouldn't be the same without you.

Please reply with your RSVP so that we can make sure there is plenty to eat and drink for everyone. If we don't receive an RSVP from you by (new date) we will have to mark you down as not attending.

Thank you.

For the venue and caterer they only needed to know a week or so before. We set the deadline too late (lesson learned) - two weeks out from the wedding, but we'll deal with it.

I agree with both - the tasks can be split among whoever. Likely the Mom's will have to do some of the contacting as they are relatives from their sides and they are more in contact but I see all points.

Yes, @ E&M but honestly, not planning to give folks an additional several days (although I know it is human nature to wait until the absolute last minute or after to do things). We just won't have the luxury to wait much after the deadline, but we will wait until the deadline has passed.

Thanks to you both for the wording! That helps a lot!

I agree with Alyssa. You can do it, FH can do it, your moms can do it...whoever is willing to help. It also makes sense to split it up, if multiple people are helping, so that each person is responsible for the guests they have relationships with.

I think it's fine to do this by email, but the nice thing about doing it on the phone is that if you are having a phone conversation with them, you can get their response that moment. There's no delay between the moment they receive the question and their response. If someone gets an email, they can open it, set it aside for a couple of days, and then eventually respond when they are ready. If they're on the phone with you, there's a sense of urgency and they will need to give you an answer right then. I'm not sure how much time you have between your RSVP deadline and your deadline for handing in your final numbers, but be prepared if you send out emails and don't get responses from some guests after a set number of days, you'll need to hunt down phone numbers for them.

@Samantha - I do see the value in getting them on the phone. I will try to do that as best as possible. I will try a phone call first if I have numbers and maybe set aside some time in the next day or two to gather some phone numbers I'll need. I don't have any on FH side so his Mom may have to do that.

There's really only about a week before numbers need to be given...yes, it is cutting it close - my error but one I can live with. To all brides new on the journey, give yourself at least a month!!

Our venue is requiring a final head count 15 days in advance. We are putting our deadline 25 days in advance which will give us 10 days to contact those (which I am sure will be many) and give them 3 days to return the call. If no response, we have decided to have empty tables in the back which is where they will sit.

The message will go as follows:

Hey (name) it's Michael and Maggie calling regarding our wedding. We understand life can be busy and are calling because we have not received your RSVP. Mr. Smith (manager of vendor) is requesting a final head count by (deadline date). Please contact us at (626) 555-1234 and let us know if you will be attending and the name of your guest. If you are unable to attend, a courtesy call is greatly appreciated. We look forward to hearing from you soon and hope you will be able to attend.