RSVP Follow Up - Please Help

Wait, my RSVP due date is May 1st, and my wedding is two days before yours. When is your due date?

How soon do you need numbers? My wedding is a week before yours and my deadline is May 1st. If you don't need it yet, don't sweat it.

If it bothers you so much just phone or text him and ask him "Hey man, since I initially sent the invite to your former address and now your current address, I am worried you haven't or wont receive it. Please let us know if you will be joining us on (wedding date). We would be so honored to have you there. And again I apologize for sending it to the wrong address." But honestly, there is no reason why you should be freaking out about RSVPS yet.

My due date was mid March. We have family & guests from all over the globe and our wedding website has all of our information. Long story short, I had to make our wedding website private due to being stalked. I now had to make sure everyone had the guest password and wanted to make sure our guests would have all of our wedding info well in advance of the day. The only way to make sure everyone received their invitation & have time to send additional invites overseas if needed & give enough time to follow up on a response was to send it so far in advance.

This guy though, is in the same state. So y'all are totally right - probably no need to be upset about it just yet. When would you recommend following up on this one?

March is when your invitations should have gone out, not when the RSVP should be due. Give it another month and then you can start following up. Sounds like this is a problem of your own making. Two months in advance is far too early for most people to commit to a social event.

FutureMrs2017 totally understandable. I wouldn't send additional invites because you'll just have to wait more. People may still not know that far in advanced if they can attend. I would send calls/texts/facebook messages, and give them another deadline to let you know through that medium if they didn't receive the invite/are still unsure.

That's fair that people may not know if they can attend so far in advance. It took 1-2 months for our STDs to reach some parts of the world - some never even got to their destinations and feelings were very hurt. We were trying to avoid that happening with our invites at all costs. Should I have done a different rsvp deadline for overseas guests? I did the best research I could but did not find any guides on etiquette about this particular, layered situation.

Your RSVP date is waaaaaaaaaaay too early, but that ship has sailed.

Lurkers, let that be a lesson. Don't make your RSVP dates too early. People don't make plans months in advance. If they do, things come up and plans change. I have something that I've known about for a couple of months this weekend that I'm coordinating 3 other things with because...things come up.

Okay you're right - the rsvp date ship has sailed. So when would you suggest I follow up with this particular person? Is early/mid May a good time?

Oh man, sorry OP. Wish I had some advice to give. I can see why he may not be sending in a RSVP yet - it's too soon for him to confirm. I sent out my invites 9 weeks out, and I only had 67 guests respond - I'm still waiting for 113 more, but my due date isn't until 5/1.

eta: whenever your final numbers are due to your venue, ask him a week and a half before that.

Wait till May 1 and ask.

I would've sent out overseas a month before the others. But having an RSVP date 2 months prior to the wedding is setting yourself up to get screwed with headcounts, last minute cancellations and no shows.

When are your final numbers due? A week to a week and a half before that, tell him you need to know or you will mark him as not coming and will miss him.

I would wait until a week or two before you need numbers for your venue before nagging people about whether they will attend.

GymRat - thank you for the helpful & kind response!

If you get to 1 or 2 days before your final head count is due, and this person still has not responded, THEN, and only then, do you text or call that person. At that point you may politely inform them that you will be submitting your final count [tomorrow or next day], and since you haven't heard from them yet, you assume they won't be able to make it. And please, be gracious and say that you were hoping they could be there but understand that it might not be possible.

Hey - I'm kind y'all! LOL

That's a first. Hell must be freezing over! LMAO

Seriously though, good luck OP!

I would reach out to him again with "Hi Joe, do you know if you'll be at the wedding? The numbers are due to our caterer/venue tomorrow." a day or two before your numbers are due. I know that some people don't like to go that route, but it reminds people that there is real $ and planning tied to this event (and that they're making things tough on you haha).

If he keeps avoiding the question even when you say that, it's most likely that he is not coming and just doesn't want to tell you. For some reason, people in my generation seem to think that rejecting someone is worse than just being non-committal.