rsvp Dilemma

Just tell her that you realize she wants to be there and you want here there too but do to the fact that she cant give a straight answer until the day of you are going to have to make her as a no because the final count needs to be in x amount of days before the wedding.

I have the same problem. my wedding is this Saturday and we have someone plus their wife RSVP yes except he got knee surgery this week and is unsure if he is going or not but said he really wants to try to. We honestly just left the two seats open. We figured it is a waste of money not to but at this point it's also already accounted for so it's ok. In the grand scheme of things two open seats isn't so bad

I have a friend who just had this surgery. There's no way she could have gone anywhere the day after. I would count her as a no. Maybe you can suggest she stay home and rest, because her health is the most important thing, after all. If you have time on the day, maybe you can have a video call, or someone can facetime her during the ceremony, so she can see some of it.

I had this surgery, and though I was in a huge brace, I was walking around the day of the surgery. In fact, my mom was driving me 7 hours from my college town home and I got out of the truck to go to the bathroom a couple of times. If she sincerely wants to come, I’d allow her the option to come.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Especially as you’ve already said it’s okay, I’d have her seat regardless. Of
course it’s a bummer to pay for someone that’s not there, but, it has already been budgeted for, and you’ve already given the okay to her. It does sound like she really wants to come and only won’t if she really can’t. I had a relative in poor health and a seat for them even though we knew there was a chance they wouldn’t feel up to it day of, just part of the cost of the party.

alternatively, the only other course of action is to reach out to the venue and ask directly if there’s any possibility of some leeway for this situation. (Ex- my caterers could ADD someone up to two days before, even after numbers were submitted [of course would be added to our bill])....this might be too close a turn around time for the venue to work with, but it doesn’t hurt to run it by them.

Most venues can accommodate a small last minute change in numbers of two people. I would ask the venue what their policy is for something like this. If she’s a close friend I would try to be flexible if the venue can work with you.

I’ve had ACL surgery... twice! Believe me, she will not be there lol. She will be in extreme pain and unable to take a normal shower. So I can’t see her wanting to go to a wedding in that condition.