rsvp debate

I would call them and ask for an answer. If they don't answer your phone call, send a text and let them know that you need an answer by tomorrow, and if they don't reply by then, you will count them as a no.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree! I wouldn’t remove them from the list before reaching out a final time for

Definitely reach out before you remove her. If she doesn't respond on a day or two, you can let her know you need have to turn in the final count and it's not flexible.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this! No answer is an answer.

Hi Jobe I hope all is well with this friend but if there isn't no issues and you have done your part. Do not reach anymore you gave reached out numerous times as you stated. And if they haven't RSVP back yet then if they haven't made the deadline then remove them. We were just speaking about this once we send out our next month they have a few months. But after that 1 or 2 weeks extension but after will be marked off. We have to firm on something and this is 1 of them

You always have a buffer period between the rsvp due date and the deadline when the caterer needs a final headcount. Usually that’s about a week, during which time you contact anyone who did reply by the due date. You don’t hang up until you get a yes/no response. If they still don’t pick up the phone when you call then mark them as a no. You don’t remind anyone before the due date.


The friendship is a completely different matter that should not be tossed aside because they didn’t send in an rsvp on time. They may have issues they are dealing with so they aren’t able to respond, not to mention still being in a pandemic. Some people have anxiety and depression that prevents them from functioning normally. There is no way to tell so don’t throw away a friendship over that. It doesn’t mean they aren’t happy for you even if they have things going on in their own lives.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and if someone loves and cares about you no matter the distance or back stories if they genuinely support you they would be there with bells or at least have the decency to respond. Your day is about you and your love, you shouldn’t be stressed about someone who isn’t going to be loving and supporting especially for something as big as a wedding! Have a wonderful wedding day and smile and dance and enjoy your day. The amount of stress we endure with preparation is enough for every situation lol so no need for extra stress! Have a magical wedding day 💗

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for that! My oldest friend that I haven’t seen in over 20 years has even responded with her regrets. She’s sent her love and happiness that I’m finally happy. Yes this other friend that lives across town have said a word. I’ve even seen her husband at work and he didn’t even say anything.

I agree with Michelle. I know you're at heightened stress with the countdown, but there are many valid reasons to forget an RSVP. She's not going to change her personality for your wedding. But, why haven't you casually asked her husband if you see him at work?

I would call her and get her answer. If she doesn't return the call, then it's safe to call it a "no". Sorry that happened to you and hope your friend is OK!

It is important to reach out directly as it is possible that she thinks she responded and if so could still show up! We did have an rsvp that got lost in the mail, so if we hadn’t checked in, we wouldn’t have had a seat for those guests! May well not be her scenario, but still important to directly ask for that reason. I’d just say “I’m reaching out because we haven’t heard from you in response to our wedding invite and our rsvp date has passed. I need final answers now to finalize things with our vendors. If I don’t hear back from you, i will have to mark you as a no”

Have you called her? I would call one last time and then mark them as not attending.