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Merline
Super February 2020

rsvp deadline

Merline, on January 21, 2020 at 2:59 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 27

Our RSVP deadline is this Saturday and about a third of the guest have not RSVP'd. Just wondering if anyone did not go out their way to remind guest of their deadline? We are thinking about only reminding family and that's it. Is that considered rude? We sent out invitations the first week in...

Our RSVP deadline is this Saturday and about a third of the guest have not RSVP'd. Just wondering if anyone did not go out their way to remind guest of their deadline? We are thinking about only reminding family and that's it. Is that considered rude? We sent out invitations the first week in December, so guest had about 8 weeks to RSVP. None of the invitations came back to us, so I know someone received it lol. We are doing RSVP's through WW, so it takes less than a minute. I had one person contact me because the website was doing something weird and her name would not pop up, but we figured it out. I was thinking once the deadline is up on Saturday to remove all guest who did not RSVP and change the wording on the website to say something like "Did you miss the RSVP deadline? Please contact us directly to see if a seat is still reserved in your honor." or "Sorry you missed the RSVP deadline, but due to final payments, we are no longer able to accommodate you". Or if anyone else has better wording, please let me know. Thanks

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27 Comments

  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    We chose to not send RSVP cards with 6 invitations. (We were running low.)
    Thise went to parents, grandparents and our officiant who is also an guest and in the middle if wedding planning herself. They will all be expected and anticipated to attend. Everyone else (including those verbal "you know we'll be theres" needs to send in their dang cards.
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  • Andrea
    Master January 2021
    Andrea ·
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    FACTS lmao!!

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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    I think you should reach out. It completely sucks, but I wouldn’t want people showing up without planning for them. Lots of people don’t rsvp, and as rude as it is, it seems to be there norm
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  • Julie
    Dedicated February 2020
    Julie ·
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    I think it's fine to check in. No one knows your guests better than you. I checked in with a few of my fiance's friends who I know are typical single men - glad I did because they completely forgot. I also checked in with one aunt - as she is usually very prompt about RSVPS - only to find out hers never made it to her.


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  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    KAREN ·
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    Agreed with others; I would follow-up. We had about the same numbers but purposely gave ourselves like 2 weeks between RSVP date and final meeting with vendors so that we could reach out to those people. I either called or texted (whatever worked best with that person and our relationship with them) and said "Hey! I'm not sure if you've moved or if your invitation got lost, but we never received your RSVP. Can you kindly advise if you will be able to attend? We need to give our vendor a final count by (I always put a week before it was due). Thank you!"


    We had a few people who just never responded (and never showed), and then a bunch who "forgot" to send it back. Either way, just to avoid no call but shows, I'd find out.

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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    Thank you! I plan on doing this Sunday afternoon. I really hope that they RSVP right then and there lol. I do plan on adding the direct link when I text them. Also thank you for providing some wording that does not seem too harsh lol.

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  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    KAREN ·
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    Putting the blame on yourself/USPS is much nicer than blaming them. They may be at fault, but they are a guest. You win more with honey and whatnot.


    Most of mine did, if that helps! I only had to reach back out again to like one or 2 people. OH! And don't be afraid to ask other people to help with this. I had my mom reach out to family members on her side that didn't respond, asked my husband to do his side and I handled the rest. My cousin is always traveling for work and was impossible to reach (via text, phone, email, skype, etc). I had my aunt actually reach him, since he responds to his own mother (lol).

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