rsvp Cards with the save the Date!

Wait, am I reading this right? You required people to RSVP to the save the date, and only sent invites if they did respond?

Honestly I feel like this is pretty messed up. I wouldn’t rsvp to a save the date. That’s not something that most people would think they needed to do. Rsvps are for formal invitations only.

YES MA'AM!!!! Best thing ever and was smart about it. I send the RSVPs with the Save The Date and gave them a long timeframe and hotel code to block rooms. I then took all the ones that said they could attend and sent out the Formal Invitation with all the details on it about the wedding 3 months prior to the wedding date.

I would be really frustrated if I was a guest. No one should be RSVPing to a save the date.

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It saved a ton a money and was the most clever thing I came up with. Maybe it's because we are only inviting X amount of guest but it was very helpful.

View Quoted Comment I'm glad you're excited about it but as a guest I would not be sure what I'm doing 3 months from now much less any longer than that. Also save the dates are normally just that...a hey dont make plans this day! And you should have to respond to anything then.
I'd be pretty upset if I got cut from the list from not understanding because this is way out of the norm

I would never do this either. And as a guest, I would never even think to RSVP to a save the date. So for one, there are probably guests that would've come, but didn't realize how you were doing this. Also, no one knows for sure that far out, that is why invitations go out 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Honestly, this is pretty ridiculous. You "saved money"? But completely disregarded your guests. It is rude.

It work out great! If you think about it, the guest had a set date to request off and get everything together and a long enough timeline. It helped with blocking hotels room to get a better price and to know what to look for if they want a different hotel. Also you figure you spend all that money on Formal Invitations and hardly no one RSVP. I didn't get any complaints they responded and it help and flowed with the food and etc.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad it’s what worked for you. But still agree with what everyone else is saying. You probably had many people not understand what you were going and now probably have some people who would have been guests quite upset and frustrated. I’m glad you saved money for yourself, but be prepared for possibly having to deal with the headache of friends/family complaints when they realize they didn’t get a formal invitation.

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My wedding is also a Destination if that help any! So a lot of people needed to know so they can take off. There is nothing in the book that says do the RSVP with the Formal Invitation in X amount of days. It helped me a ton because I able to know what all was needed and then verify with my guests if they was still interested and order my food. I work at a Hospital so a lot of my Doctors, APRNs, NPs and Nurses needed to request off and book the rooms. It worked out great!

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I have two wedding websites so they could send back the RSVP card, on go on the 2 websites to RSVP; some even called and said they was RSVPing over the phone.

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My SAVE THE DATE had the state we are getting married in; the date and more information online. They had extended time to RSVP- It's hard to explain because most RSVPs are simple and straight to the point. Mine had more information because it is a Destination Wedding.

View Quoted Comment I hope it works out for you. 99% of our guest list had to travel to our wedding, we had people book hotel rooms after getting a save the date and then had to rsvp no after they received the invite because stuff came up. We also had people verbally tell us no and then closer to the date things changed and were able to make it. It’s just really hard to completely commit that far in advance.

A lot people thanked me because they was able to save and figure how to get there and when things were cheaper in advance. If you sent me a Formal Invitation 3 months before with no info I personally would not come because I would not have saved the funds, time to request off and get tickets and rooms at a reasonable cost.

I would just be prepared that people may back out closer to the date. We had friends who had a destination wedding in January. Initially 50 people booked with the resort by paying a deposit. In the two months before the wedding 7 couples and a single person changed their minds and opted not to go.

I guess that’s a good way to keep your guest count down if everyone who can’t figure out their availability that far in advance has no choice but to say no. I’d be really frustrated as a guest in this situation though. As a warning, I’d expect a yes a year out means “I’d like to attend” rather than “I am definitely able to attend” and you may find your guestlist changing

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But what about the ones who didn't realize they would be cut from your list if they didn't RSVP to the save the date? Are they just outta luck now? Why would you want to do that to your guests? A lot of people receive a STD and just put it aside to deal with later, as the date on it is several months away. Just because someone doesn't respond to the STD doesn't mean they aren't interested in attending your wedding. You're going to save even more money if this is how you cut your guest list.

That sounds about right I sent out 100 RSVP card because I sent out 100 with the save the dates and 72 supposed to be there, but I did the 20% if it was in town and then additional percent for out of town. So I I'm guessing that 50 to 62 will show up. So that's about right. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!

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That is what a save the date is for, so people can plan, request time off from work, make travel arrangements, etc. As long as you include either the city where the wedding will take place, and/or your wedding website where they can get more information, then people will do those things when they receive your STD. It doesn't mean they need to RSVP so far in advance. Some employers don't even allow people to request time off more than a month or two in advance, so you could be cutting out guests who want to come, but don't know for sure if they'll be able to. They will know that closer to the date, and be able to RSVP accordingly. This just doesn't make any sense and it rubs me the wrong way. It's like navigating a dark road at night with no headlights. You have no way of knowing you're about to go off a cliff.

If I was to have where I live I would have done it differently but it's it of town. Plus, we started on the wedding 2 years ago so everyone already knew it was out of town they just needed the details. You can save more money and be done if you start early too FYI ;-)