Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy August 2021

Ring advice please

Emily, on March 5, 2021 at 3:07 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Ok this will be long sorry but I really need to know if I am being !@$%* I designed my ring after FH and I decided we wanted to get married. I gave him the jewelers info and when he was ready he purchased it and popped the question. After wearing my ring a few days I realized it wasn't really what I discussed with the jeweler so we sent it back and he redid it. The new ring comes in and I love it although still not as I had pictured. A few days later I notice the stones on the side which are aquamarine look grey and dirty. So I decide to take it to a local jeweler to get it cleaned but because the way the original jeweler made the ring there is no way to really clean these stones. The local jeweler quotes me $2k to make a new band with my current stones and different blue gems. Fast forward a few months and 1 of the aquamarine stones falls out so I send it back to the original jeweler to fix. I asked him if we can change out the blue stones because they always look dirty and grey and he basically says "no duh they are aquamarine, they attract dirt." We argued, he refused to help and I was so unimpressed with his work I didn't want him doing it anyway. Plus I felt like he should've told me this in the first place, he is the jeweler not me. Later I mention to FH I want to change the ring and he was super offended. I admit I felt the ring was a little cursed and wanted something different but I wasn't expecting that reaction since I wasn't dissing his design I was dissing my own. Fast forward 4 yrs and I do love the design but I still HATE those darn aquamarine. We just had our engagement photos and my ring looks dull because those stones are grey. We are finally getting married in August and I want a sparkly ring to show off. When I talked to FH the first time I wanted to redesign the ring. Now I want the exact design just not aquamarine but I'm afraid of offending him again. Argh I don't know what to do. I'm not trying to be b!@$$y but these nasty grey stones take away from my sparkly center stone. Would love to hear the good bad and ugly. Thanks for the advice and letting me vent.

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on March 5, 2021 at 11:25 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on March 5, 2021 at 6:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
It sounds like it’s probably a money issue and not a “why don’t you like my design” issue. He already paid for a ring, paid for it to be reset, and now you want him to pay for new stones. Maybe suggest paying for it yourself?
- Reply
Devoted May 2022
Tory · on March 5, 2021 at 7:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
I know you want something sparkly and not dull, and you should love your ring so I understand wanting to make it perfect if you’re going to be wearing it forever. Maybe just ask if your FH would care about changing the ring if you paid for it (since he shouldn’t be offended about you disliking the Aqua if that was what you specifically asked for). Just be weary about the accent stones popping out as you said in your post, I know someone who had small accent stones on their ring and they had to get it fixed so many times that they ultimately just stopped wearing it altogether (I’m not sure if that’s because the person that designed it just did a bad job with the sizes of the stones and the prongs or what, but just something to think about)
- Reply
Master May 2019
Cyndy · on March 5, 2021 at 8:57 AM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with the others that maybe if you offer to pay for it he won’t mind if you change it, but since he already bought the ring you asked him to he’s probably not wanting to have to spend more money.
- Reply
Expert September 2020
Amanda · on March 5, 2021 at 9:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
Keep in mind all stones will attract dirt. I never take my ring off, my diamond regularly has a bit of dirt/residue on the bottom of the diamond based on the setting. I clean it, it’s gone, it sparkles more again. I guess I don’t really know aquamarine but if it’s the stones getting dirty that’s going to happen with daily wear.

I agree with others to pay for it yourself if you want to change it but maybe at this point you can just get a wedding band that compliments it well and not worry about redoing the engagement ring again.
- Reply
Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on March 5, 2021 at 10:00 AM
Flag

Hide content
If your happiness with the ring will finally come after removing the aquamarines and replacing them with diamonds, then do that. But pay for those changes yourself. Your FH has gone in enough circles over the ring you designed. So, hearing about it again 4 years later would give him the absolute right to be annoyed.
- Reply
Super July 2023
Eniale · on March 5, 2021 at 11:01 AM
Flag

Hide content
Agreed with previous posters - go ahead and change them, but pay for it yourself. He's been more than indulgent.
High quality aquamarine is actually very hard to find because it is such a soft stone, and most of the striking blue varieties have been heat-treated to make them that blue (and they are still highly prone to scratches and material loss.) The most common aquamarine stones will indeed be a lesser quality, pale, sometimes greyish blue. If you are still wanting blue stones, but more vivid and more sparkle, you have options like blue zircon and blue topaz.
But if you simply want to change them out for diamonds, do so. I imagine your FH should be fine with it as long as you are paying for it.
- Reply
Savvy August 2021
Emily · on March 5, 2021 at 11:17 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I think you are right. He didn't have to pay for resetting it was the jewelers mistake. I assumed I would pay but not actually sure I said that.
- Reply
Savvy August 2021
Emily · on March 5, 2021 at 11:22 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I just wish the jeweler had said something. I have a ring with blue topaz and its beautiful but I don't wear it daily so I'm not sure how it would do. Lessons learned for sure.
- Reply
Super March 2021
Kimberly · on March 5, 2021 at 6:34 PM
Flag

Hide content
I completely understand why he is upset about your complaint of the ring. First you didn’t want a ring truly from him you just wanted him to pay for it. And now you don’t like the ring he paid for. Yep, I’d be upset too.
- Reply

Savvy August 2021
Emily · on March 5, 2021 at 11:25 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Not sure I understand how I didn't truly want a ring from him. We've been together 12 years. Pretty sure I want him but we are all entitled to an opinion.
- Reply