RESPECT the RSVP

A few days after your RSVP date, you have to contact everyone who didn't RSVP. That seems to be the consensus of the proper thing to do around here.

You can't just assume they're not coming or unilaterally decide they can't come.

You expect grown adults to be courteous and respond. To the ones who don't, you follow up with them. Never assume they aren't coming. 90% of the 40 I had to follow up with are coming.

But you do not follow up until a few days after the deadline.

Why wouldn't they be allowed to come just because they didn't RSVP? I've never heard of people doing that, it seems pretty rude if you sent them an invite. You just have to hope they'll be an adult and respond, and if they don't then you follow up with them.

Britt,

You'd be surprised. Three brides had a list and someone checking at the door. I felt slightly uncomfortable. Following up would be more ideal for me. Thanks, ladies.

If you dont RSVP then I haven't paid for your plate. Its really quite simple to me. I am doing internet RSVP and I made it clear that there is plenty of cake if you fail to make the firm RSVP date. My personality fits this so they know I am not playing.

Follow up with everyone who doesn't rsvp within a few days after your date. You shouldn't need final numbers right away.

@j19sweet uhmm what? What if their RSVP card or invite gets lost in the mail? Seriously this happens sometimes when you are sending a large number of invites in the mail.

The postal service ain't what it used to be. Things get lost on the mail so they may have mailed the reply back and it goes to Timbucktu before it goes to you. Or gets shredded by their machines, etc. You'll have to contact them some way and ask.

You should follow up. Sure some people are idiots but it also does happen that people just get busy and forget they haven't responded. Or move. Or mail gets lost. Yes, it's a hassle but it's worth the effort to avoid uncomfortable situations.

Idk, but I have seen a new trend for RSVP. All of the invitations examples that I have received, they have the RSVP as a postcard. I found it so genius.

You put only the stamp and you save the envelope money... i know that is not a lot, but if I can save cents I will!!

My wedding is still far far away, but I will give them 1 week after the dead line and I will start calling

5 days before my dead line I actually texted and Facebook messaged the remaining 80 people out of 280 who had not yet responded just giving them a friendly reminder. A lot of people truly just forgot and did it that day! Then I had a remaining 40 who I had to call two days after the deadline and got a verbal yes or no and manually accounted for them. Follow up in a respecting way and your guests will probably appreciate it. They have lives and like I have learned so many times no one thinks your wedding is as important as you do. And this goes for RSVPs as well!

We followed up continuously with our people starting about a week after our deadline since our invites were sent a little later than anticipated. Then we kept following up. We ended up with only five (5) guests who did not gave us a response. We had some tell us "I lost my invite," or "I forgot to send my RSVP," etc... we also discovered that some alleged to send the RSVP but we never received it. As we only had 5 without responses we made extra placecards, but did not order extra meals since we are doing plated meals, but we've already had a few people who RSVP'd back out so it always ends up balancing.

I do not think you have to say "You cannot come if you do not RSVP." It is universally understood that a meal would not be available. However, if you do have a large amount, then you should keep calling and maybe add that caveat to your message if they are being hesitant to your requests.

You need to follow up with guests who do not RSVP. You can't assume they're just jerks- sometimes things get lost in the mail or people are busy and totally forget. Just follow up a few days after the deadline with a phone call so that you can get your proper numbers into your caterer. If you can't get a hold of them and they don't RSVP i think it's understood that they may not have been included in final count. Usually venues and caterers anticipate this and can fix it before anyone notices and accommodate last minute changes.

Yup just call to make sure. These are most likely your close family and friends so at least do that!

Be sure to follow up with guests. A lot of people just assume you know they're coming because they mentioned how excited they were last time you spoke. Or assumed that since they're family they don't need to. Some people arent rude, just stupid. Haha. Others just forgetful. And some rude. Send a text or email to follow up with younger guests and call the older guests. Our online rsvps are due saturday. So we will probably reach out Sunday afternoon. Good luck!

I'm going through the same thing.. I sent self addressed stamped and everything and some people are "bringing" them to me. My reply date was September 17th anticipating responses by the 24th so after this weekend I will start making calls.. I never knew this to be an issue but it really is! When I get an invite for somethin I RSVP..Common courtesy

Follow up a few days after your rsvp deadline! One cousin's invite to my sister's wedding got lost in the mail, and they had no idea they were invited. My sister didn't follow up with those who didn't RSVP. The cousins were too polite to bring it up, and my sister never mentioned it - it was 3 years before we discovered the error!

That said, good venues should have some security on staff to prevent obvious wedding crashers. Our golf club has a gatehouse who will have a list of names to check people in - standard procedure for the venue, nothing we can do about it.

Really at @j19? Their not sending an RSVP may be considered rude, but remember that no one else cares as much about your wedding as you do. Some people just forget. People are busy. What YOU are planning to do is downright mean girl behavior. You're going to make them sit and watch people eat? I get that it's inconvenient to take time to follow up with people, but I care more about not alienating and humiliating my guests than saving an hour or two.

My side of the family is horrible at RSVPing. After invites go out, anytime someone brings it up to my mom or I, we will stress getting the RSVP back for the caterer. I know I'm going to have a lot of calls to make. For some reason my family just thinks "Oh I'm invited, they know I'll be there. No need to send it back". My extended family at least.