Rescheduled Date - Notifying Guests

I would send change the dates to everyone. If you have to restriction numbers later on because of the virus I'm sure your guests will understand.

View Quoted Comment

We over-invited for our original date because some guests had conflicts and couldn't come, so we extended the invite to a few guests that were not on our original list. Our invites went out right before things started getting crazy. Sending CTDs to all guests we originally invited would put us over our guest limit.

View Quoted Comment

That's definitely a problem and why I wouldn't recommend doing a B list like it sounds like you did.

View Quoted Comment

WELL VERONICA, when we had a two couples RSVP "no" as soon as we sent our invites out and had space available, we opted to include two additional couples and then my FMIL made a last minute request to add her sister in (who we had asked about multiple times prior and each time she said "no don't invite them they can't come" but then she felt bad once we sent out the invites). We didn't invite more guests than we could accomodate hoping people would decline, we had confirmation that some of our guests they were not coming. In fact, we knew at least two or three more couples who were going to decline but they hadn't officially RSVPed to us right away, so we held off inviting anyone extra because we had to squeeze in my FMIL's last minute request. All of our guests received invitations within days of each other. Then a pandemic that no one predicted came along and we had to change everything.

I'm not convinced our wedding will happen next spring, or ever, at this point. We can add extra people if we want - we can afford 100 people with what we have currently saved and our venue can fit 120 easily - but we want to keep it small, and particularly with pandemic concerns, I'd rather err on inviting fewer guests that we absolutely want there and keep it safe for them and not worry about friends we can celebrate with at other times. Thanks for your advice, but I have to disregard it because I'm trying to stay positive and don't have room for people who are going to make me feel worse about a situation I have no control over.

View Quoted Comment I'm not trying to make you feel worse and I'm sorry you feel that way.

View Quoted Comment

Thanks for the apologies. I just hate this situation so much. We put so much effort into our plans and now just feel like everything I do is pointless because I don't have any confidence that anything will actually come to fruition ever. I just want to be married and be done with it but I also really want to actually have a wedding and celebrate with the people I love for once in my life.

View Quoted Comment

I am very sorry you are going through it. I have two friends that have had to postpone their weddings until September and October which they are now saying might not even be save. My husband has a friend who is also getting married in October and that might have to be moved to. I would invite everyone that you want there and if you had previously extended a plus one not allow a plus one anymore. I would say that only applies to those that are truly single because plus ones are only for single people not those in a relationship. I would hope guests are more understanding because of the pandemic.

View Quoted Comment

Yes, we only had a couple plus ones. I hate the concept of plus one's (I would never just bring a random date to someone's wedding) but granted a few at my FMIL's request. We have a lot of friends in relationships where we don't know the other person well (maybe met them 1-2x) but we definitely invited all couples as a unit. Plus since most of the couples are living together and in the same household (and those that aren't are seeing each other regularly anyway) we likely aren't making an event any safer if we told our friends to attend without their SOs. But eliminating plus ones along with a couple living in Canada who said they wouldn't be able to travel to us for a few years anyway (prior to Covid-19) puts us back in our target range for guest numbers.

I was thinking 2020 would be our year - we'd finally get married, we could start planning a family, etc, but now I feel like looking ahead at the future all the things I wanted seem so uncertain. We're already in our mid-30s and delaying those important life things much longer just means they may not happen at all. I feel broken, and just wish I could look forward to something with excitement. I keep trying to plan where I can because it gives me some feeling of control but it feels so pointless.

I postponed from May to October. We’re not telling people the date other than a few out of town people. Right before we print invites again and mail-again- we will access what we expect October 2 will look like. The invites might go out later-first time it was about 10 weeks before. And we’re not doing STD as at this point whoever comes comes. And if we need to uninvite I think it makes it even more uncomfortable later. I’m for sure not printing or paying for anything with a date like the guest book I want on Etsy until the shortest notice possible. All of it’s a best guess.

This is an overall tough situation, sorry! Could you just share your tentative new date with your closest family and friends and people that will need to travel? And on your website put you cancellation information and a note saying you both are monitoring the situation and will be making adjustments to celebrate in 2021. Since you seem to have a core group of people you want there I would make them aware of your new plans but leave it open ended for the rest of the guest list. These are unprecedented times and if I were a guest all I would want to know is that the May wedding was cancelled and you aren’t sure what the next step will because of the pandemic. If you do end up changing your guest list I probably reach out to those that won’t be celebrating with you to confirm you needed to make changes for health/safety reasons.

View Quoted Comment

Sounds like a smart plan. I hope your October wedding goes off without a hitch!

View Quoted Comment

We emailed all of our guests and told them just that - we canceled our May wedding and didn't know what was next. I've also updated our website with "TBD" as the date, but eventually I would like to add in the new date. At this point, I think I'm just going to tell people the new tentative date if it comes up in conversation and not make an effort to go out of my way to notify people. Our closer friends are either people we talk with on a regular basis or people who have checked in on us with all of this happening, so for them it comes up in conversation anyway. So much can happen in a year (our wedding went from "good to go" to "not happening" in a matter of weeks) so we really won't know until March or April who we'll be inviting and even that could change by June depending on the situation.