Request to be a Flower Girl

Sorry but we have chosen not to have a flower girl or ring bearer at our wedding.

I agree, be direct but polite so there are no misunderstandings.

Just say no ....

My wedding was 21 and up.

Asking is putting it mildly. I had people campaigning for their kids, to be in my wedding. My aunt was actively prompting her daughter to ask everyone and anyone, for years, if she could be their flower girl. She acted like being a flower girl was like winning the lottery - the end all and be all, of a girl's life. I don't think the girl will end up in therapy, over the rejection of never being allowed to be a flower girl; she'll end up there because of her pushy mother, and her embarrassing antics.

Yeah a 12 y/o flower girl would look rather ridiculous. Just politely say that you aren't having a FH or RB and it's already been decided.

Are you allowing kids to be at your wedding or is it adults only? If it's adults only there's your way out. If not, politely tell her you won't be having flower girls or ring bearers but you're so honored that she wanted to be a part of your day. Perhaps she can hand out programs or something. There's no point in making someone a part of your wedding just because you felt pressured! Stick to your guns on this one.

I also think ghat a 12 or 13 year old should he a junior bridesmaid... I would be polite but firm

My grandmother has asked 3 times if my cousin (10 yo) can be our flower girl. Each time, she has asked IN FRONT of my cousin, which I think is way out of line. Each time, I've told her that we aren't having a flower girl or ring bearer. So I feel your pain! Just be consistent, and keep saying that you aren't having a flower girl or ring bearer. Eventually she'll figure it out.

You may just have to repeat yourself until she gets it. Polite, but firm. It is weird that she is inviting her daughter to be in your wedding anyway. That is not really how it works.

Just say we don't any kids in the wedding. I agree 13 is too old to be a flower girl. FH's grandma was getting on him for "waiting so late" to ask this person or that person could their kids be in the wedding. We had to explain to her we had all our kids for the wedding (all kids of the BMs & GM) that way the wedding party would get the benefit of having the whole family invited.

"That's so sweet. We're really touched that [kiddo] wants to participate and support us. We've decided we're not going to have a flower girl, so we'll be happy to enjoy [kiddo] as a guest."

If they persist: "Again, we're so happy that you're enthusiastic about the wedding. We've made our decision on this, so I'd hate for us to have a misunderstanding that would hurt [kiddo]."

I would just say "thanks for offering but we decided to forego those roles". And end the conversation there...

Repeat, "We've decided not to have a flowergirl" as many times as necessary. If you are inviting the girl to the wedding, you could ask her to help with the guest book or to help usher guests into the ceremony space if she truly wants to help for your wedding. (I have a hunch that the mother is more into the flowergirl idea than the daughter)

Put your foot down now. They shouldn't keep asking about this. That's really awkward that they would even assume if you don't really have a relationship with her. Anyway, I would say something like the following:

"Thank you for your offer, but we aren't having a flower girl or a ring bearer at our wedding".

If they keep pushing "why not?" then you may have to be a little more firm or flat out tell them no. I would just try to be polite at first but it sounds like they've already pushed quite a bit.

I would explain that you have opted to not have a ring bearer or flower girl. And yes, I agree. A 12-13 year old is too old for a flower girl.

I just don't understand the audacity of people sometimes. Sounds like you're just going to have to stand firm and keep answering the same way. The problem is not you or how you are responding.