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Alexandra
Just Said Yes October 2022

Representation In Forms Lgtbq+

Alexandra, on September 22, 2022 at 8:24 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8
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As the Wday (Wedding) is fast approaching all of the remainder vendor forms are being signed. The one thing that I am really tired of is the standard Bride/Groom on all the forms. Every time I have to cross out groom and put Bride there as well.


All of my vendors are LGBTQ+ friendly and accommodating except when it comes to their forms. At this point it’s nitpicking but it definitely has becoming a nuisance since I have to scratch out their entire forms.
Anyone else experienced this same issue? How do you (politely) bring up the topic to please have an inclusive form with the vendors… where it doesn’t look like you’ve hit bridezilla mode??

8 Comments

Latest activity by Andrew, on September 26, 2022 at 10:56 AM
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    That would be frustrating. Perhaps, after the wedding (which I realize doesn't help you, but will benefit others) you could contact your vendors with a "hey, y'all did a fantastic job (blah, blah, blah), and we appreciated your being lgbtq+ friendly - but . . . " and outline your frustration. You could even suggest that they have it as bride/groom and have people circle it/choose it from a dropdown online menu?

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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
    • Flag
    I think just telling them out front. Hey, it would be ideal if you all had forms that are inclusive with all couple types. Especially now, I assume most places haven’t gotten to that point yet. I think it’ll be a great idea to bring it to their attention. It could be a learning opportunity for them.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Dedicated October 2022
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    Agreed that it would be great to mention it to them. Since they are all reportedly LGBTQ+ inclusive, not having inclusive forms is probably just an oversight and something no one has pointed out to them.

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  • Marlee
    Dedicated December 2023
    Marlee Online ·
    • Flag

    I agree with those who've said to just calmly mention it. Definitely doesn't make you a bridezilla.

    I've experienced a bit of this too. I've actually had one potential vendor (didn't hire her) straight-up say that clearly I'm the bride and my FW is the groom, since I'm doing the bulk of the planning... unfortunately, sometimes a vendor claims to be "lgbtq friendly" without actually making an effort to be inclusive.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Wow, that's just...I have no words for that.

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  • Caitlin
    Dedicated January 2023
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag

    Mention it!! It they really are inclusive, they will appreciate the heads up. You can put it very kindly- saying hey I really love how inclusive you are with lgbtiq+ couples and one additional thing you could do to further make these couples feel welcome and supported would be to change bride/groom to partner 1 and partner 2 or some other non gendered terms! I've had people mention this within my own counseling forms since I used a premed one and it was such a helpful heads up to go and check to change this!

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  • Andrew
    Just Said Yes October 2016
    Andrew ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Uuugh. The sad thing is this crap isn't even rare nor do they think theyve said anything wrong.
    • Reply
  • Andrew
    Just Said Yes October 2016
    Andrew ·
    • Flag
    Definitely say something. It's clearly an industry standard and they don't mean to be offensive or anything, but if they can't be understanding with this criticism then they aren't really lgbt friendly are they?
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