Replacing a bridesmaid

I know, but it leaves me in the same predicament, so I feel like I won't be at much of a loss. I just don't appreciate the being lied to and now she is talking bad about me behind my back.

So, two separate things here:

1) One of the ONLY things that you can really expect of your bridesmaids is that they will purchase and wear the dress you've selected (assuming it's within budget). She failed to do that, regardless of her reasons why. I would tell her, "These are the bridesmaids dresses. I hope you can find them on eBay if you can," and KINDLY but explicitly tell her that if she doesn't get the dress, she can't be a bridesmaid.

2) Replacing bridesmaids is super rude. Please don't do it. The assumption is that you asked people to be in the wedding party because of what they mean to you, not because you're fulfilling a quota. People are not exchangeable. Replacing your step-sister would be telling your step-sister, "You were just a placeholder." It would tell the new bridesmaid, "You weren't good enough until someone else dropped out." And it would send the message to your remaining 'maids that they're also potentially replaceable.

I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to say HI DATE TWIN!!

Yep, I agree with Erin. If you just eliminate her and not replace her fine. But replacing her creates the same issue with another girl.

Did you um...I don't know...GOOGLE the style # and retailer of the dress? Other places may still be carrying it other than the retailer.

Totally agree with stephanie's advice (both pieces) - spot on. please don't replace bridesmaids, its not nice to either person.

I'd also just add having a talk with her if she's talking behind your back.

Yea, as Erin said, that doesn't solve your problem. in fact it would only create MORE drama. Is it really worth ruining your relationship with your step-sister over?

if you and she agreed on teh dress and she doesn't have it for your wedding, then she took herself out of the wedding party

I hate the idea of "replacing" a BM. They're people who are important to you in your life, not someone who you hire to stand next to you in a pretty dress.

You picked your dress and your other BM's bought it--there's nothing wrong with that. Your step-sister didn't, so now her options are to try and find the dress somewhere else, or to not be a BM. Unless you're willing to find her another dress that fits in. Like Erin said, replacing her doesn't solve anything, so why would you?

I kind of had the same problem but I asked my MOH to step down and be a bridesmaid (story coming in a board) because she could not handle her responsibilities. In the end I believe it is up to you if you feel like your other maid will take some of the stress away I say replace her.... ITS YOUR WEDDING

I wouldn't replace her. Whoever you ask to step into her role will feel like a second string. Plus, she won't be able to find a dress through no fault of her own because you asked her to be in the wedding party after the dresses were discontinued. If your step sister doesn't have a dress, she can't stand with you, but at least she created the situation herself.

I don't think she has crossed the line just yet, you may just have to have her wear some other dress, seriously I wouldn't stress about how she is not wearing the dress you want the BMs to wear since you will have more important things to worry about.

I agree that it is super rude to kick out and replace a BM. They are people who are supposed to be important to you not props that can just be replaced the next day. If she can't find the dress in time than unfortunately she has taken herself out of the wedding. I would give her some time to find the dress either through another retailer or online. Perhaps you could help her out to find the dress. Since you already "called her out" and called her irresponsible though, it may be too late and she may not want to stand up for you any longer. It's unfortunate that weddings so often negatively affect relationships.

Where did y'all order the dresses from??

I wouldn't replace her. She should deal with the stress of finding the dress elsewhere or not being in the party. If you replace her, not only are you sending a weird message but you will end up putting that stress on the new bridesmaid who didn't do anything wrong.

Ok..I may have been a bit bitter. I honestly don't want to replace her, I would just leave the wedding party uneven. I have searched...for hours to find the dress, or even a similar color etc. But to no avail, and still she doesn't want to order the dress because she is convinced she is going to lose weight. I'm really not stressing about it, if it works out it works out, if it doesn't it doesn't. I'm fine either way. I didn't mean to step on any toes...sorry.

So I am probably going to go the route "if she finds a dress, cool, if she doesn't then no bridal party placement for her"

Also....now I feel like I've branded myself as a biotch. I'm sorry

YAY More Nov 1 brides! Hello date twins

Post a picture of the dress, store and style number - also size needed.

People here on wedding wire are super internet sleuths.

If you find it, tell her, she buys it now, or she isn't in the bridal party. A dress can be altered if she loses weight.

I don't think you sounded like a bitch. Sometimes we go through drama that doesn't seem so bad when we stop and think about it.

I really was curious about where you got the dresses though??

Give us dress info! i am bored at work!!!

Sorry! I didn't mean to make you all wait so long they were "bottle green" dresses from eshakti.com this is why I've been just trying to find dresses in the same color. I did find fabric, I sent her the link for the fabric and told her getting a dress made was an option (my mother is a seamstress)

It looks like they'll get it back in stock. it says "Temporarily Out of Stock" on their website so you have some time and hopefully it will work out!

Super cute dress BTW - very different and i like it a lot

http://www.eshakti.com/Product/CL0029826/Scallop-collar-cotton-knit-dress