Repercussions of not having cousins as bridesmaids?

I have a similar experience, but with flower girls and ring bearers instead of bridesmaids! My mom wanted me to have 2 of my girl cousins as fgs, and 2 of my boy cousins as rbs. FH and I personally don't see a point in have those since they literally just walk down the aisle for that 'omg CUTE' factor lol. We chose to not have any, and my mom went bananas saying I was prioritizing my FH's family over mine. I'm not close to my mom's side of the family, and have seen my cousins maybe 5 times my entire life....so I didn't see a point in having them in my bridal party (older cousins too), nor as a fg or rb. She's still a little upset about it, but I told her she has to get over it. It's not a day to show off how cute my cousins are. It's a day to celebrate me and my FH. Now if I was extremely close to them, that would've been a different story and they would've been in the wedding.

I advise you to stick with the number that you want. Just because everyone else had cousins in the bridal party, doesn't mean you're obligated to do so, nor should you let anyone guilt trip/bully you into including them. Your bridal party is only supposed to consist of those that you're the closest to, and couldn't see yourself getting married without them by your side. If that doesn't apply to your relationship with them, then don't have them in the bridal party.

How they react is not on you. This is your (and fiance's) wedding, not theirs. If they can't accept that, be prepared to cut off ties with toxic relatives.

Never ever cave to please someone else, regardless if it's your wedding or any other event in your life. The minute you allow someone else to make decisions for you, you will have deep regrets and they not give your independence and dignity back. Stand your ground, maintain boundaries and repeat "no" indefinitely.

The less ppl in your bridal party the better. And it’s your wedding not theirs. If they don’t like it they don’t have to go to the wedding. Just remember that this is your day and no one else’s. It’s bad enough that we have to deal with Covid. Everyone else can take their opinions and flush them down the toilet.

It sounds like you’d be doing it out of feeling obliged rather than actually wanting them as bridesmaids, in which case I wouldn’t ask them. They may feel the same and it could wind up leading to more conflict that way! Go with your gut.

View Quoted Comment 💯 agree with this! Your bridal party should consist of the people you WANT around you, and not people you asked out of obligation.

This is so tough! So at first I waffled whether I wanted to include my first cousins as bridesmaids—I have four female first cousins, all of whom I have a special relationship with. We were having a small wedding and I already planned on my MOH, grooms sister and three other close friends. Then two things happened that made me ask two of my cousins—one, DH said it would really mean a lot to him if I had one of his girl cousins, whom I’m pretty close to, as a bridesmaid. Well, if I was going to have his cousin, I definitely wanted to have mine! Plus, my uncle told my mom that his family, including two of my girl cousins, would not be attending. That sealed it and I asked my other two cousins.


I found out after the fact that my cousins who couldn’t attend were super hurt that I didn’t ask them, even though they weren’t attending. One (a senior in college) desperately tried to find a way to come on her own, but flights were too expensive. I honestly felt awful and if she had come to me, I would have paid for her flight and of course asked her to be in the party as well, even if it meant an insanely large group. I recognize I could have been more sensitive and reached out proactively and said if they changed their minds about coming that I’d love to include them, but...hindsight. My aunt was pretty pissed at me (again, even though they didn’t come!) and even though I’m glad I had 8 bridesmaids instead of 9 or 10, I would much rather have no hurt feelings with my family.
Are you close to these girls?

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I like both of my cousins and think they're great people. I just wouldn't consider us super close. My aunt has definitely not gone to a wedding before just because her family was not included in the wedding party. I think I'm most worried about hurting their feelings if they truly do want to be bridesmaids, but it seems like there's no great way to bring that up.

View Quoted Comment Someone who doesn't come because their kids are not included ... Seriously?
Do they even know who that day is about ?
If you'rr concerned by hurt fellings but don't mind having a larger crew, include them. Plus: you have 8 , so 10 won't make a huge difference.But If you think a 10 girl-team is too many, stand your ground and if they threaten not to come, say: " You'll be missed; This wedding will happen, with or without you but we hope you'll attebd.Bottom line: decide based what means more to you: Picking only the girls you want ( and bridesmen) or avoiding hurt fellings and family not showing up because of this.They will get over it.

What did you end up doing?? I’m in the same situation! Except I asked my closest cousin as MOH and have not asked other 2 cousins. One I am not close to and the other we are friends but not super close. Help me! Lol

View Quoted Comment So my wedding isn’t for another year. But the plan that I ended up with is for my cousins to walk our Grandmother down the aisle, since my grandfather is no longer with us. If everything pans out I think it’ll be a really sweet moment.

View Quoted Comment That’s a nice idea. I could probably do that too. Thanks!

View Quoted Comment Glad I could help!