Removed from bridal party 24 hours before rehearsal dinner

I’ve been a bridesmaid for my friend for two years and was in a bad financial situation when she asked me. She knew about this and I agreed since then I’ve been working two jobs and grown a lot. I have a wonderful partner who I now live with, but my schedule is hectic I’m a marketing director for a large company and a local reporter.


My first big issue happened when she told me my boyfriend wasn’t invited, I asked if there was a way I could pay his part as I didn’t want to be the only member of the bridal party without my partner she said no and I moved on, they weren’t close and I assumed it was a small wedding.
I bought my dress and booked my hair appointment, she has her bridal shower during a blackout month for time off, but I made sure to let her know and even bought her cake cutting knives on my birthday because she said they where missing them. She ended up inviting my boyfriend after that.

From there the bridal chat was quiet and then they said to be at the rehearsal at 6 p.m., last Friday tomorrow I told them it would be very hard for me to be on time because I don’t get off to five and would need to go home to grab close, the venue was also an hour drive. I felt awful about it, but I had already scheduled to leave work early to get my hair touched up for the wedding.
I was also told to be at the venue by 8 a.m. that day which I was fine with and just asked for a schedule so I’d know where I needed to be and when. I also asked if there was a place my boyfriend could stay or go hang out in the area since it was a long drive and we didn’t want to drive both cars. They said that he could help prepare food in the kitchen. He was a little reluctant after not being invited, but I agreed that he wanted to help make their day easy.
Today I was supposed to to give my dress to the Maid of Honor, and my hair didn’t take the dye well so I canceled my afternoon plans to get a touch up due to pictures. On the way there I messaged the maid of honor to let her know and then another bridesmaid said she’d take my dress and I explained I’d let her know when i was done and sent her a picture of my very off colored hair, I’ve been keeping it between calico or purple, but decided calico would probably blend better with the pictures and I’d just do purple after.
I was asked what I’d do if I couldn’t fix it and I said put Purple back in, I always keep my hair some different shade and had not been told this would be an issue. As I was in the chair having the hair corrected, they told me that I would just need to get some black box dye and cover it. I told them I couldn’t do that and it would damage my hair, I then told them I’d be fine with getting a brown wig and I was told to just enjoy the wedding as a guest.
I’m so confused and I just started crying in the salon. The bride hasn’t even talked to me about any of this, and I know another member of the bridal party keeps her hair. I don’t even know if I should go to the wedding, there’s a lot of professional connections there and I just feel hurt, and like I spent way too much money this week prepping from hair, to dress, to taking care of a last minute alteration, and gifts.
My other friends say I should have let it go when my boyfriend wasn’t invited and are saying to cut the friendship and walk away.