Remember when you started planning and thought "that won't happen at my wedding"?

Omg I can't believe people are telling you they are going to bring their kids when you already specified it was 18+. What do you say back to them?

I'm waiting for it to begin for us. We've had some stupid comments, but nothing too crazy yet. We will just stand our ground and let them know directly that children are not invited or whatever extra guest they assume they're bringing is not invited, etc. Any issue with it and they can decline the invite.

View Quoted Comment I called my mom and freaked. 🤦🏼‍♀️ We have a HUGE family and my FH and I both have pretty extreme anxiety, so we are doing an extremely small, immediate-family only ceremony... like if you had a destination elopement and then a big reception except the only “destination” we can afford is across town 😂 And this is the same person who tried to guilt me for not being invited to that. (Would defeat the purpose entirely as FH hardly knows her.) She also said that she is unable to rsvp by the time indicated and when I was busy and so couldn’t respond right away, she said, “I assume this means we are now disinvited.” I told her of course not; I am not so rude as to “disinvite” someone. However, could she possibly commit to RSVPing bu a certain (different) date and that DID work for her, which is AWESOME, and I am thankful for that. I directed her to my mother for everything else (kid), while I was having a personal meltdown with myself. We are doing adults only because there are SO many kids in the family that taking them off the list made or broke the possibility of being able to afford to host the family at all. I am having my mom explain it to her. My mom and I have gotten into it over a few things as well, but not like this, and she actually took it upon herself to tell people that HER budget could not accommodate their kids, and to lay off 😂

I think it’s actually almost amusing in a perverse sort of way when these things happen to me. Like girl, you totally thought “that won’t happen to us” and Karma was WATCHING! 🤣🤦🏼‍♀️

View Quoted Comment I was pretty close but luckily this was via text and I had my mom on speaker talking me down.

Girllllllllll YES
Ok so for my wedding... I had said I really hope extra people don't come because in my culture... People tend to bring extra guests.
Welp yes a couple people brought their kids WHEN THEY SAID THEY WOULDN'T (they were invited but the parents had not RSVPd for them). I was ok with it because some people ended up not coming and also they happened to be seated at tables where it was only 9/10 filled anyway but it's just still like GAH.
A lot of people for whatever reason will think about weddings like it's no biggie as if we don't plan per person -_- so our parents were saying even if there's extra people it's ok... I mean in the end it worked out but it's still frustrating because it messes up our planning we worked hard on right

View Quoted Comment Nooooooo!

For me it wasn’t even the mom, who is the sweetest person; it was the grandmother of the child!

View Quoted Comment Say that there are venue restrictions?

View Quoted Comment My mom straight up said she couldn’t afford to pay for everyone’s kids. 😜 She also stared that we were disappointed in being unable to host the children, which is true. We are already going with the most lenient, least expensive venue in a very oversaturated wedding market. We tried. We really did. It just wasn’t meant to be for kids to be there.

I wanted to pay for a sitter for wedding party kids but we are already stretching by hiring one for the two bridal party toddlers. We unfortunately can’t use the same for both because she’d need to be in two places at one time. (Bridal party toddlers will probably exit and go “home” for bedtime soon after cake cutting and a few songs. It’s an evening wedding.) MOG said that I can provide the option of a sitter but the parents would pay and that that’s totally acceptable but I have no experience in that area.

I figured, "hey, I'm one of the last of my friends to get married, everyone's got the etiquette, now, right??""
1. People asking if they are invited.

2. People asking for plus ones we haven't met. (In NYC. C'mon, people, this is *expensive as heck*.)

3. FH's friends NOT being used to weddings yet (he's younger than me), leads to the BM bringing his dad (we had not planned on inviting him, but then he showed up at our wedding shower... and we know him and like him and we had some declines already so) and now wanting a PLUS TWO OR THREE for a date and a friend (NEITHER OF WHOM WE KNOW)

4. My family DRAMA (which I anticipated, tried to manage, and mostly have, but people are still petty).

5. One of my bridesmaids probably not going to even make it to the wedding due to financial issues and I can't help and I'm just sad 'cuz I miss her.

In other words, I feel you on so many levels.

Lol you’re going to bring your kids? That’s cute enjoy not being allowed into the wedding 💁🏼‍♀️ Or them having no place to sit! The audacity of some people!!

My wedding website said something along the lines of, "as much as we love all the family little ones, our reception will be adults only. Please let us know if you need any help finding other accommodations." Anyone who tried to push the issue, I said that I wasn't bending the rule for anyone - our venue was not appropriate for kids.

I did not want to leave that conversation for my parents to have since my mother didn't understand the decision anyways! Even outside of that, I preferred to handle the discussion early and on my own/with hubby's help. In my experience, a middleman usually just leads to more bargaining.

So far I haven't had any issues with anything...my biggest issue has be no one wanting to help with any of the planning, and it all being on me...I don't drive so getting places to take care of stuff is hard. If anyone has any issues i'm just going to ask them if they would like to help

I feel you on this. I just sent invites last week and my MOH sent me a snap of her RSVP, which she included her 1 year old daughter. I did the whole "we reserved 2 seats in your honor" because we would rather not have children. I mentioned this to her when creating my invites and detail cards because I was asking her input on things and she even said then that she wouldn't expect her child to be invited to a wedding if they are not specifically invited and would not bring her. Yet here we are - she added her to the RSVP.

View Quoted Comment ONG. Did you two have that conv over chat or text? If so, I’d send her a screenshot with her comment about not bringing her child underlined.

View Quoted Comment SERIOUSLY this!!!!! Like woman, you are a Boomer; theoretically you SHOULD know how to behave by now!!!! The snotty audacity of some people is REAL.

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It was over text, but I'll probably just let it slide. Her parents will probably take her when they leave. And she may not even end up bringing her for real. But it did just really get under my skin, especially since it clearly says 2 seats, not 3.

View Quoted Comment Well, it’s been a few days and it’s starting to become obvious that in my case, at least, a lot of people who have kids and grandchildren think they’re about to he the exception to the rule. It both infuriates and saddens me, because we’d LOVE to have the kids there..... but we honestly did have to cut back on our “guest wish list” by quite a bit to be able to even afford the “big wedding.” Thankfully, my parents are calling who they need to on this, and the family is mostly wonderfully-intentioned; it’s just a huge, sprawling family and it’s been decades since we had a “big wedding.” Now we have two in two months. Come to think of it, I wonder if my cousin is having the same situation?

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I'm sorry to hear that! I know what you mean - it's your wedding and ultimately you are responsible for supplying your guest list and only you know your budget. If that doesn't allow kids, it doesn't allow kids. I'm glad your parents are helping try to take some of the stress off. I'm just waiting to see how many RSVPs go against what I've asked. Hopefully you're not alone within your family and your cousin with this issue, but just know you're definitely not alone in the wedding world as a whole, haha! I've just accepted that people will unfortunately have the audacity to do what they want, and my reception just isn't accommodating children in a special way, so if they bring their child, they will have to deal with that.

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You last sentence lol!!!! Literally me. Everything has been going so smooth and I'm like "Come on girl, you know DAMN well that will hit the fan the closer we get. My luck is not that good" lol I'm preparing myself for it haha

Ohhhh yes. Checked to see if a relative was coming to the wedding and he says "If all goes well". Like, yes or no please.