Relying on gifts

I wasn't told that. I was more annoyed by being told to invite people we knew wouldn't/couldn't come just to get gifts.

We didn't do either of those things. We only invited those we truly wanted to be there to share in our day. If we'd based our wedding budget on guessing at what guests would give us we would have been completely screwed.

Totally agree. And, it's complete B.S. when you factor in that you will most likely have no shows that you paid for. Most people try to pay the per plate amount back to the couple, but that doesn't include the countless other costs incurred.

I hold zero expectations on my guests reimbursing us for what we put out. They're invited because 1) we want them there or 2) someone forced us to invite them because"we have to".

The entire ouook of basing a budget on money that doesn't exist yet is poor finance management and a good way to get yourself into debt.

View Quoted Comment My dad totally said that! He totally talked about how we should invite certain people since he's confident they'd give us gifts so essentially it pays for their spot anyway themselves. Ugh.

My wedding is over but I get a lot of "did you get enough gifts to cover the cost" questions now

View Quoted Comment YESSSSSS
There were people who just kept telling me not to worry so much about the costs and it felt so ridiculous hearing that considering I gotta front the cost anyway myself and I can't rely on people's gifts that I wouldn't know yet

I agree that is ridiculous. You have to pay everything before and the day of, not during or after! Also assuming everyone will foot the bill is a bad assumption.

View Quoted Comment Yes! The entire time my bridesmaids and others would just say oh you'll be fine for the costs, you'll get back so much in gifts anyway.
Welp that doesn't mean you should rely on them...

I totally agree with you... I wasn’t even thinking about gifts when I budgeted, because I didn’t want to be financially strapped and/or disappointed with our gifts!

We actually ended up getting more value in gifts than how much we spent on the wedding itself! It was truly unbelievable how generous most of our guests were!! Husband and I keep laughing about this because the whole planning process we were so stressed about money, and then ended up actually somehow profiting? Like we literally have more money now than if we hadn’t had the wedding... 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

I’m SO GRATEFUL that this happened to us, but seriously that is sooo uncommon so definitely don’t count on that happening :p

View Quoted Comment I was lucky I had the same thing happen aha but I want to attribute that also to my budgeting and penny pinching and DIY and whatever cost measures I took rather than relying on that. But my friends were like SEE TOLD YA. gah I mean it's still not wise to do so!

View Quoted Comment

Tell me your secrets!

Haha, just kidding!

Counting on gifts sounds like a tricky gamble to me. We budgeted and while we haven't been perfect, we'll come out of the wedding with it paid for just fine, even if we aren't gifted a dime.

My FH and I have joked about one of my uncles only giving us $10 as a gift, knowing that he'll give us much more because I'm like his favorite niece and all. But we've planned an budgeted our wedding with what we were comfortable spending. If someone gives us money, great. If not, no problem.

View Quoted Comment I agree. We considered what we are ok with paying and even if we didn't get any gifts then we would be fine anyway.

View Quoted Comment That’s exactly what we did! So it was a pleasant surprise getting so much back, haha.

Most people gave us gifts that covered the amount we spent per guest (about $100 per person) but then a few very generous (and wealthy) relatives and long-time family friends gave us $1k+ gifts so... that pushed us over lol. We were very lucky!!

I got into it with somebody on here when I was new because they made a comment very similar to what you're talking about. How guests will essentially repay you your wedding costs in monetary gifts and how they were depending on that to recoup their losses.
I said okay but what if nobody gifts you cash, everybody brings a physical gift? Then are you essentially screwed because you cant pay bills with a blender?

I think people get too caught up in receiving gifts from weddings. We didnt invite people just for their gifts. Every gift given was greatly appreciated (and all have been used a lot in the 7 weeks we've had them!) We walked away with more more than I had ever expected with such a small crowd.

View Quoted Comment It's such a bad thing to depend on that! My friends kept assuming I'd have that happen and although it did happen, it doesn't mean it's safe to assume that.

I've literally never heard anyone say that.

I think that is crazy. I know that there is no way we’d be getting that much in gifts to cover the costs of the wedding. Not even close. I don’t expect anything from my guests but to show up and hopefully enjoy themselves.

I completely agree with this. While it is nice to receive that gift, it shouldn't be expected to help pay for your wedding. We did what we had to in order to afford the wedding ourselves.

View Quoted Comment That is the way things are supposed to be. People give you wedding gifts as a start on a good future together, not to pay off old debts from the wedding. And unless you are a poor financial manager, you should plan what you can truly afford as a proportion if your income at the time, or add a second source of income temporarily. People just plain spend too much on one day. And some end up with none of the extra going forward, which was intended to be a surplus after the wedding. People do not need to cover their plate, pay in gifts the equivalent of what was spent. People as guests have no responsibility to do that. The couple or hosts can pay $10 per person or $300. The guests give the same gift, unrelated. But people want to show off my unique this, a perfect match of 12 things, and a showy display of other things, and go way overboard on spending. The amount people spend relative to their income is 1 1/2 more than just over 10 years ago, but incomes have not gone up across the board like that. It is a shame MOST people do not come out ahead, since a little extra stuff or money to build a future is the intent of most people giving gifts. All to create an impression they can live like celebrities or the wealthy. Only to live poorer afterwards. If you came out ahead of rally, that is what your family and friends wanted. Good for you!