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Kevin
Super October 2021

Rehearsal

Kevin, on August 31, 2021 at 6:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
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So we had a little ceremony last year with covid and are having our full wedding coming up in October. My mother in law wants to plan us a rehearsal dinner. Majority of our wedding party is out of state and won’t be coming until the day before the wedding. We decided with our coordinator that we would not be doing a rehearsal at all as it wasn’t really necessary and since majority won’t be there what’s the point. My mother in law still wants to do a rehearsal dinner even with no rehearsal but it seems odd if very few people come and she is trying to plan it so out of state family will be there, but is only including their side of the family and not mine. They also live about 2 hours away from us and want everyone to drive up to them for the dinner and have it at their house or near them. There just isn’t really a good time either as midweek we all work and it just seems odd to have this dinner. She’s very adamant and pushy as this was what they were contributing to the wedding and because we don’t really want to do it it’s upsetting her. Any advice?

4 Comments

Latest activity by Kiri, on September 2, 2021 at 9:58 AM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It makes sense that you aren't having a rehearsal and therefore, you don't need a rehearsal dinner. But if your MIL wants to plan a pre-wedding party to celebrate a bit more with her side of the family, that is fine. I would let her plan it and you and your spouse just show up where and when she tells you (that is, don't worry about any of the details or help with preparations).

    You can suggest she throws this party closer to the wedding venue. It sounds like everyone will be there the day before the wedding, so a dinner the night before should work well.

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  • Chloe
    Devoted February 2022
    Chloe ·
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    Honestly, if someone tried to exclude my family from a pre-wedding event, I just wouldn't show up... What does your husband say about it? It's his mother, so if anything, he should be riding out to fight that battle. We agreed right at the beginning to separately manage our respective families, it helps keep us both sane.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
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    I agree about finding out what your partner wants in all this? I personally would not be thrilled to drive that far for a pre-wedding party that doesn't include my family. Possible compromises could be that they do a day after wedding brunch? Dinner with just their family and without you two? Or Maggie suggested, a dinner closer to where everyone is, and to include your side as well?

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  • Kiri
    Beginner November 2022
    Kiri ·
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    Right?? Even if you're having a party for your own side of the family, since the party is about a wedding, it seems wildly rude to exclude at minimum the close relatives of the bride. If you don't want them there, you can't call it wedding-related. OP's fMIL should just call it a family dinner party or something.

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