Rehearsal Dinner

We had a DW so we invited everyone to the RD. Out of the 80 guests at the wedding, 50 attended the RD.

We have the same situation, I would say nearly 75% of our guests are traveling from more than 2 hours away with most of our aunts/uncles each coming from a different state.

We only invited family and the wedding party and their significant others. It just didn't make sense to FH or I to have basically a second wedding. Apparently, this is more of a southern thing to invite all out of town guests? At least that's what my FMIL said.

I think it's traditional in the Northeast to invite all our of town guests. With our budget and the number of out of town guests we have, we're considering doing a morning rehearsal, followed by brunch with only immediate family and wedding party, then a welcome party with some cocktails and appetizers. (We're getting married on Sun of a three-day weekend.)

I hear you! Same here. We are doing a rehearsal lunch for our immediate families as they are all involved in the wedding. After the rehearsal we are headed back to the hotel for an “informal welcome gathering” which we have invited all out of town guests. We are paying for the rehearsal lunch ourselves (and the wedding and honeymoon) so we are not paying for the informal welcome gathering.

I think it’s totally fine to do it with just your wedding party and their significant others. I don’t think your out of town guests should be bothered by this because it’s generally just the wedding party. I was in a friends DW and there was a lot of people there the night before that were not in the wedding, after dinner (which was just the wedding party) they invited everyone to a local bar and we were all together then. You’re guests are getting a dinner and nice party the next night anyway 😊

We are having only wedding party (+significant others) and close family members. I really wouldn’t invite out of town guests if there are a lot of them!

We did this. My husband's entire family is from the same area, extended family and immediate. My half of our guests are from all over. Our welcome lunch was on Saturday and we ended up having all my side plus his friends from out of town, immediate family, grandparents, parents siblings. Of our 98 guests we had 75% present at the welcome lunch. It was a backyard food truck and catered lunch which was provided by my brother in law and parents in law restaurant and food truck. it was very casual and low key.
Our wedding was on Sunday. And before we were weary that it would feel like the same party twice. But instead everyone had broken the ice and everyone was comfortable by the time the wedding came around and felt so intimate.
It was a good time for sure and made the overall weekend great and allowed us to spend so much time with friends and family and those who came from afar to celebrate.

Also our wedding party was his brother and my best friend.

You only need to invite the wedding party, and anyone else who goes to the rehearsal, like a solo musician, and if it is a formal sit down dinner, then these people's SO. Usually people invite parents or Grandparents, sometimes sibling ( sometimes not) , again, with SO if a sit down dinner. Out if town guests are strictly optional. When there are few of them, and they will be in town and know no one, often they are invited. But if they know anyone else in the area, like relatives, or the numbers would be more than the wedding party, usually not. In our area, and in families I know in many places, often a relative not involved with the RD or wedding prep will set something up for a few relatives from out of town. So they talk family reunion, or friends from school may gather and talk friend stuff, and do not entirely change the nature if the RD, which should be focused on the people in the wedding.

We are just doing wedding party and SO plush RB and FG family

While it is common to invite everyone from out of town it is not necessary when the it becomes more or less a 2nd reception.
And that's why we're not doing it. My FW's aunt graciously offered to host everyone because frankly they are her family but we are insisting for logistical and logical reasons this doesn't happen. It's too much. We're having an intimate RD and a casual meet up with everyone later.

No, we couldn't because it would be honestly all our guests.

We did not. I don't like the idea of excluding the in-town guests and also didn't want all the guests invited 2 days in a row to events. We kept it to parents/gparents, bridal party, and ceremony musicians (they were involved in the rehearsal).

I think it's up to whoever is paying and what their budget can accommodate. My sister's rehearsal dinner was the wedding party + dates, immediate families, and any other family either side really wanted to invite. It was fairly small (4 tables at most, I think?) and I really liked it. I wish mine was going to be that small.

FH's parents are hosting our rehearsal dinner (which is really nice of them) and I think the tentative plan is the wedding party + dates, all of his family who comes in for the wedding (none are local), and some of my extended family (most are local, but my family is smaller). I think we have to have 50 people minimum. I would definitely go smaller and just do the wedding party / dates + immediate families if I were the one paying.

We are doing a welcome dinner instead! Granted, we only invited 80 people, but at FFIL's insistence, we invited them all!

It's normally the bridal party the officiant and some family at the rehearsal. You can always host a day after brunch for the out of town guests to attend. Good luck

I am having the same dilemma. My parents are the only family that live near my fiancé and I so they offered to host a causal dinner in their backyard. As for the actual rehearsal only the bridal party will be going.

We’re doing the rehearsal early in the day, doing a small dinner for about 30 people, then opening the invite to anyone who wants to come have apps/drinks after.

No just the wedding party.

We did. We had a DW so we invited everyone. Out of the 80 who attended the wedding, 50 attended the RD. I've always been invited to the RD as an out of town guest.