Rehearsal Dinner

Possibly have like a back yard BBQ?

Not sure why all of your out of town guests would need to be at the rehearsal dinner unless they are all in the wedding. Only those rehearsing for the wedding should be at the rehearsal dinner and ordering pizzas, going to mexican etc is pretty inexpensive. If you are calling it a rehearsal dinner and including more than just those rehearsing, you are probably more so hosting a welcome dinner which should be paid for by you but also doesn't have to be super expensive. Again, order pizzas, have a local mexican or italian place do a few dishes for you to pick up (nachos, enchiladas, tacos-lasagna, alfredo, salad), have a bbq with hot dogs and burgers. It doesn't have to be anywhere fancy or anything extravagant.

View Quoted Comment I wanted the rehearsal dinner to be traditional with just the wedding party, but my fiancé insists the out of town guests come. We’ve been thinking bbq.

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A BBQ would work just fine!

It’s not necessary to invite out of town guests if you can’t afford it. You could do something inexpensive like pizza, or skip the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner altogether.

I would tell your husband that if you invite all the people then his parents can pay for it...even if low key. I hate to sound harsh but I do not feel it fair he want something but expect someone else to pay. Typically the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Maybe since FH is the one insisting all out of towners come, his family could contribute or cover the costs. Otherwise, I think it would be best to just keep it to those in the wedding. Like others said, something like a BBQ is an excellent affordable option!

We kept our rehearsal dinner simple with pizza and soda! It doesn't have to be anything too expensive

I agree with the others a bbq or taco night would be inexpensive .

I also ran into a similar situation when discussing the rehearsal with my parents. I was just thinking it should be the bridal party, and immediate family, but my parents want to extend that to aunts, uncles but then also don’t want to spend a lot. So we are looking at an inexpensive pizza place that can accommodate a party.

The two of you should be paying for it. If he wants all the out of towners there, he can pay for them.

Rehearsal is typically just those involved in the wedding ceremony (wedding party, parents, siblings, anyone doing a reading, etc). Dinner for all the out-of-towners is a welcome dinner.

Rehearsal dinners are traditionally paid for by the parents of the groom (but the wedding is traditionally paid for by the parents of the bride and few people stick to that anymore). Welcome dinners are usually paid for by whoever is paying for the wedding.

If there are people who insist other people should be invited, especially not in line with tradition, then those people should pay.

You can have a rehearsal without a dinner. If you really want to feed everyone pizza, sandwiches, or BBQ is probably the cheapest way to go. If you have a large enough house to host, you can also do pasta and salad for a big group pretty inexpensively.

Rehearsal dinners are one option, not the only one. Bride a d groom can each do something special with their BM and groomsmen separately, a lunch or dinner with just participants and not SO, if just bride with her side, and separately groom with his. This need not invite any family if B and G do not want to. Just a thank you for the WP. Or, B and G can jointly host something for both sides of the WP, with their SO. With or without any family. . . . People often talk as though a RD is mandatory. It is not. It is only one choice. Bride or groom taking just their people out, is a traditional alternative to say thank you, and give gifts. Not tied to the rehearsal. RD are popular, but not the only choice .

We are doing a welcome party instead of a rehearsal dinner. There will just be drinks and apps for all the wedding guests. The reason is 95% of our wedding guest will be traveling and we wanted to include them since they will be in town. We also though two formal sit down dinners was excessive.

Keep in mind the rehearsal dinner isn't a pre-party it's actually rehearsal. Look at it that way and you'll definitely save cash realizing half the people need not to be there.

We’re having a casual backyard dinner at my parents house! The wedding is in my hometown and my parents are paying for essentially everything. If his parents want to pay, they can do the catering, but they are from out of town.

I had a similar situation. His parents said they'd cover the rehearsal dinner but our wedding party is huge and I don't want them to feel like they need to spend thousands that they don't have. FMIL ended up finding a very low key restaurant that has a cute outdoor/stage area and good burgers. We decided to do that and wedding party/their SO's/immediate family only. I have a ton of family flying into town but there's no way we'd be able to afford all of them to come too. I don't feel like you have any obligation to include them. Put some good options of places to eat and things to do on your website and call it good!

Your fiancé told his parents they didn't have to pay for the dinner. Then he decided to invite a whole lot of unnecessary people. It's now his party and his financial responsibility. (Also, does he intend to make unilateral financial decisions like this after you're married? How separate will you be able to keep your finances from this big spender?)

I got really lucky that my father in law INSISTED on planning the rehearsal dinner. We are having it at a nearby hotel - but we are not inviting all the out of town guests. The majority of our guest list is from out of state (we are both from opposite parts of the country), so there's no way we can invite everyone. We're sticking to the bridal party, families, and a few extra close friends.

I love the idea of a BBQ! Super laid back and fun, and a relaxing way to start your wedding weekend!

If you have a rehearsal, a RD isn't really an option anymore. If you skip the rehearsal, it's fine to skip the dinner. We had a large wedding party & lots of out of state guests, so we had 70 people at our rehearsal dinner and it cost $3,000. After the rehearsal dinner, we hung out in the bar (and mentioned this on our welcome pamphlets in our welcome bags & on our website) so additional guests already in the hotel could come mingle for us and we didn't have to host it.