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Devoted August 2020

Rehearsal dinner thank yous and gifts

Valerie, on December 4, 2019 at 10:49 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
During our rehearsal dinner, we plan to pass out gifts to all those who stood up in our wedding and those who participated by doing a reading. I also want to gift my parents something as they are helping to fund a small portion of the wedding. Nothing crazy but they are paying for alcohol and the midnight meal. Would it be approximate to thank them and give a small gift as token of our appreciation? Groom’s parents didn’t help with anything so I don’t plan on gifting them anything. Is that okay?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on December 6, 2019 at 2:39 PM
  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    Unfortunately they have not been emotionally supportive either. They are basically just guests.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Typically the parents receive a gift whether they’re contributing financially or not. It’s more of a “thanks for raising me” than a “thanks for paying for my wedding.” I could see this leading to hurt feelings, and understandably so. You said you don’t plan on giving them anything, what does your FH think? These are his parents.
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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    Not acknowledging his parents at all may cause drama you don’t need. While I don’t necessarily think you need to get them a special gift, I would at least mention his parents at some point. Unfortunately I think if you didn’t do or say anything it would make you and your fiancé look bad since his parents would be singled out in a negative way.
    As far as your parents, I would get them something they would enjoy. Think of their hobbies or a restaurant they like and maybe get a gift certificate. Or you could always wait and get them a nice photo album after the wedding, and just make a short speech relying your appreciation at the rehearsal dinner.
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  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad as his dad is an alcoholic. They barely speak and when they do my husband is insulting him. All of his friends and my family know about his dad’s issues as well. I’m afraid of coming off as fake if we start thanking them but in reality there’s no relationship there. As far as his mom goes, she would have preferred for my husband to still be living in her basement so she could clean she cook for him so I personally will not be thanking her for raising a man because I don’t see a man after what she did. I started dating a man child who I molded into the man he is today.
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  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    What if we just each say something about our own parents? I don’t feel comfortable thanking someone who I don’t believe deserves any credit. I was thinking of getting my mom a getting ready robe like I did for my bridesmaids. And I’ll get my dad cuff links and get them both a certificate to a steakhouse or something.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I would leave it up to FH if he would like to say something then! Those are both great gift ideas for your parents.

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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    If you and FH both agree that his parents should not be gifted anything, I would probably consider not giving out gifts publicly at the rehearsal dinner. I would find a time that you could meet with each individual privately (in the weeks leading up to, or after the wedding) and personally thank them and give them their gifts. Doing it in this manner will be more special and meaningful for your wedding party and your parents, and will also prevent hard feelings/drama with his family.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would give the gifts privately so your FH's parents don't feel snubbed. As previous posters mentioned, this could be easily avoided drama

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