Rehearsal dinner - plus ones

I wouldn’t invite their guests. Married, engaged, relationship is a social unit which is why they are invited. Someone’s date isn’t their social unit.

View Quoted Comment Agreed. I would agree to be a friend's date to a wedding, but not to a rehearsal dinner.

A casual date, friend, or cousin would not be an appropriate plus 1 for a rehearsal dinner.

No you do not include a plus one to the rehearsal dinner wether it’s a significant other or not. The rehearsal dinner is for your bridal party and parents and a way for you to thank them for being a big part of your big day and for all they’ve done to help.

Also, it would save some money on food for the rehearsal dinner

I personally think it's nice to always give a plus one, especially to your nearest and dearest that have agreed to be in your wedding.

I would not include their dates that they are not in a relationship with to the rehearsal dinner, but definitely to the wedding. As for the rest of the bridal party, whoever they are dating or married to should definitely be invited to the rehearsal

The rehearsal dinner is supposed to be more intimate. It's fine if you let them have plus one's for the wedding but I wouldn't say it's appropriate for the rehearsal! I wouldn't want someone I barely know or don't know at all at such a small gathering.

I would give MIL the number as a range with and without the plus ones (so like “17-20 guests?” Kind of thing)...and then chat with the girls. Personally if I was bringing a friend/random date to the wedding , I wouldn’t want to bring them to a rehearsal dinner. (But definitely agree being local makes a difference— if they were traveling and the random date would just be sitting in the hotel alone, I’d 100% invite as the bride, and bring as the bridesmaid!). From my perspective it would be polite to offer but likely that they may decline. If FMIL is asking for an estimate, it would be fine to indicate as much in your numbers

View Quoted Comment Significant others of bridal party members should definitely be invited.

View Quoted Comment In my opinion, not if they are married. We are just stating opinions, there is no rule book.

View Quoted Comment I’m stating standard etiquette.

View Quoted Comment Ha okay. I’m glad my comment bothered you enoigg that you had to google it for me. Sorry, I don’t rely on google to tell me who is and who isn’t allowed at my wedding/events. I’ve got it handled and if I were in this situation I don’t think one of my bridesmaids would attack me and says “BUT GOOGLE SAYS THIS”....😂 I would just laugh at them.

Like I said, there is no rule book. I don’t have to worry about this situation when it comes to my bridal party and rehearsal dinner.

I think if you can afford it it would be nice but me personally I didn't do that ahah I felt like they especially are unnecessary and costs me more

View Quoted Comment Yikes I’m not trying to win by google. Just saying a lot of people believe there IS a rule book about this stuff via a standard etiquette guide. I screencapped google (which took zero effort) as a way to illustrate that there is an etiquette on this and I wasn’t simply “stating my opinion” so much as stating the common standard. Personally, I don’t care even a little who you invite to your rehearsal dinner. I didn’t even *have* a rehearsal dinner . But frankly if you were in a situation where a bridesmaid was “quoting google” to you, that would only happen if she was feeling hurt you weren’t including her SO— great for you if none of your bridal party would care though. I found your initial comment worth responding to as that is a particular area where going against the ‘norm’ does have the potential to offend someone; most significant others would in expect a rehearsal dinner invite and are likely to be upset if they’re excluded. And honestly, I think my bridal party’s patient partners deserve a little credit themselves— they stayed home alone through the shower, and through bachelorette, and I’m infinitely grateful I got to have that time with my girls, so the guys deserve a little thanks themselves for holding down the fort so we could have that time.

I would invite them if they are significant others. If I was a bridesmaid and my boyfriend/fiance/husband wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner, I wouldn't go. But if they are friends or random +1s, I don't think they need to be invited.

View Quoted Comment Really? You wouldn’t go? The reason they aren’t inviting your SO isn’t personal. It’s money.

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That's just my personal opinion, not everyone's for sure! If they couldn't afford to accommodate for spouses or significant others, then they can skip the rehearsal therefore skip the rehearsal dinner. I think people forget about the personal expense to bridesmaids & groomsmen & guests in general, so they should really be treated well and included and if they can't be, the events shouldn't be hosted or other areas should be cut back.

View Quoted Comment So if I don’t want to literally double the size of my rehearsal dinner with girlfriends and boyfriends I just can’t have one to thank the people who are actually helping me out? I don’t understand this logic or “etiquette.”

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Again, it's just my opinion! There are plenty of people who don't agree with it. For us, it wasn't an option ever to not include spouses & kids for the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, provided transportation, sitting with their SOs, etc. It's solely come from my experience as a bridesmaid and a guest at weddings and what I actually enjoy at weddings. Our RD has a guest list of 60, and we have a large bridal party. We cut other things to make sure they had an amazing time too.