Rehearsal Dinner on Thursday or Friday Etiquette

Having your rehearsal on a Thursday seems a little complicated to me. Especially for the 14 guests who would drive 2 hours to get there, drive 2 hours home and then do the same thing Saturday. It seems strange there isn't a restaurant with a private room where you could hold this. You really don't have to have a rehearsal. Just explain to everyone what they need to do and it will be fine.

Please don't make anyone drive 2 hours on Thursday and then drive home or have to get a hotel for extra time. I also find it odd there's no where else in town with a big enough private room. Have you talked to any of the other restaurants near you about doing heavy appetizers? I know one place I talked to said this is great if you're close to the room limit because they won't put in as many tables or chairs.

Agree with PPs, please have it the night before the wedding(Friday). This is a dinner to thank your bridal party, and it should be made to be most convenient for them. Just find another location for the dinner, I'm sure there are a ton of other wonderful options.

I would be annoyed if I was one of the guests that lived 2 hours away

Nope to driving 2 hours on Thursday.

A two hour drive on a Thursday is a big ask. Since you are getting push back, you know that it will be difficult for them. Do a Friday rehearsal and find somewhere else for the food. Mine will be on a Friday because my family lives 3 hours away and I don't want them to have to take extra time off of work.

I've been to plenty of rehearsal dinners on Thursday evenings for Saturday weddings. Typically because the venue has a wedding Friday night, as is the case in your situation. but usually the group is local (30 min drive or less).

But 2 hours drive on Thursday night is a lot. If you start at 5:30, they have to leave work at 3/3:30 to get to the event in time, and won't get home until 10:30/11. and then they are likely working on Friday. Moving it to Friday makes more sense, at least they can decide if they want to stay overnight Friday or drive home.

I agree with PPs. Especially the part about the 2 hour drive. It sounds like the real issue is where you want to have the rehearsal dinner. There aren't any places with a private dining area? Even some chain restaurants have those

As someone who's had to travel for weddings, I think a Thursday rehearsal is unusual and a bit rude. Look at local hotels that was a room you can rent if restaurants can't accommodate your group.

Also most wedding I've been a BM for we rehearsed somewhere other than the venue. It's never been a problem.

Yeah I would say if you have a lot of out of town wedding party members, it should be on friday. I am in a similar situation where my parents thought it should be on a Thursday and I was like uhhhhh no. I e-mailed my venue to see if they have another wedding on Friday in which case we'll probably just find some space to rehearse quickly in the hotel.

For starters, almost no one needs a rehearsal and in another location? It really isn't that helpful since part of the point is practicing walking the aisle. Which is walking. Which everyone can do.

The two hour each way thing is way more problematic than the Thursday thing (newsflash; Thursday is the new Friday in my area.....). Don't make them do that. It really is an imposition.

Have a little local dinner if you want to do that, skip the rehearsal and do a run through on the day. If you have your processional order together so your vendor people can line you up, if your dj/band knows the cues, you'll be just fine It really isn't that hard.

Yeah, I am used to Thursday dinners but the 2 hr thing is different since most weddings I've been in have been local, which I why I wanted to ask. I guess I should add that of the 14 guests, 4 are retired grandparents, 4 are plus ones for our single BP members/family (if they end up bring someone, not sure if they will), 1 doesn't work, and 3 work for Future FIL's company and he takes every other Friday off and leaves work on Thursday at 3PM anyways, so I guess of the group only 2 people will actually be driving from work and they're both working odd hour jobs so I'm not really sure what their schedules are. The BM that said "really" lives 15 mins away lol......so I guess my dilemma is if we do it Friday the venue is in a low populated restaurant area since it's a small town (more like coneys and diners not like steakhouses) so the only restaurants would be like a pizza and beer bar or applebees, whereas if we do it Thursday it would be a nice plated sitdown dinner with dessert, salad, potato, etc at the other wedding venue nearby.

This sounds complicated, and unnecessarily so. I would try to do it on Friday (the night before...) and if you can't, skip it. As a guest I would be really unhappy with this situation and maybe wouldn't even be able to participate.

A wedding I was just in had their rehearsal on Thursday and wedding on Saturday. The groom coached high school football and they have games Friday so that wouldn't have worked. I did have to find someone to watch my son but it wasn't too big of a hassle. It was at 530pm. It was actually nice because the bride had the most relaxing day Friday. Everyone was local though. But in your case with the distance, I'm not sure how that would work. As a guest who would have to attend, I would be very annoyed to drive two hours and then drive back or having to stay Thursday night, Friday and then Saturday in a hotel ($$&dollar and taking off of work Friday if I didn't want to drive back and forth.

Would it be better for you as a guest to have it a week in advance on a Friday/Saturday somewhere totally not close to the venue just to go over day of details somewhere with a private room? There are a few halfway points between the 2 hr and the local people where I could probably rent out a room so it would be more like 1 hr 15 for the 2 hr people and 30-40mins for the local people?

I would not drive 2 hours for a rehearsal dinner on a Thursday

Thursday is pretty normal to me, but I've also had rehearsals on Fridays for weddings. My wedding is a Friday so ours will be a Thursday, but our venue does them on Thursday's for Friday, Saturday and Sunday weddings.

Even with venues that host Friday weddings most people I know still rehearsed on Friday. They just had to get started earlier at say 2 or 3.

Agree with PPs, Friday is more considerate for your guests. I would be really annoyed if I had to make that drive Thursday and then again Saturday.