Rehearsal dinner more elaborate than wedding?

My rehearsal dinner is like another wedding too. I figure at least my guests will be well fed and having fun!

Am I crazy, or does it seem like they are trying to upstage the wedding? I have always been a bit self conscious because my FILs are significantly more well off than my parents. We did save a LOT of money by me making the flowers, but this is the wedding that FH and I want. I just feel like my FILs don't think it is good enough.

The wedding's not about putting on a great show. The wedding is about being married and making a lifelong committment to your FH.

Let the FILs go. Apparently they WANT to do this and are having some kind of fun with it. Whatever. It's their money. At least they think enough of you to go all out. My ex-MIL wanted me to drop off th face of the Earth and everything she did was done with a grimace, not a smile LOL

If it's about upstaging you or your parents. Oh well. At the end of the day they're the ones who are out the cash.

At this point in the game (5 weeks before the wedding), it's too late to worry. Just go with it, the plans have been made. Enjoy both events and don't worry about the upstaging issue.

Yea, its too late to worry but I would feel the same way, esp since they are inviting most of the guest list. If it bothers you, talk to them! Tell them it doesnt fit your wedding- because they should go together in some way.

I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think they have bad intentions, and I think you should relax and let yourself be happy that you'll have two fun, unique parties, especially since it's too close to the date to make changes.

I would be annoyed too! But I agree with the ladies, it's too late now.

I can tell you something though- your wedding will include the vows you make to your brand new wonderful hubby and NOTHING can upstage that.

Just roll with it. At least all the out of towners will get to enjoy a beautiful rehearsal dinner. If they for some reasons do h ave bad intentions...don't ever let it bother you! They are paying for it...enjoy! As far as your wedding...it should be what you and FH want..I'm sure it will be beautiful!

I can see where your stress us coming from but could you switch perspectives here, and think, ' I am getting a kick ass RDl like no one has ever seen before!'. I truly don't think anyone is going to compare your rd with your actual wedding, although I understand the concern.

It's too late to do anything about it. It's a bit tasteless, yes, but it's not under your watch, you know?

Why would they want to out do your wedding? I know how it is to not mesh at first with your in-laws but I doubt they would spent all that money just to get one over on you. They probably are just trying to be nice and show you how much they care by throwing a party that they think you will like. The large flower centerpieces are probably more their style since in my experience the older generations don't really understand how popular DIY and simple is these days.

If you say anything about it and they are just doing it to be nice you are going to come off really badly.

BTW I am also a bride to be and my future mother in law is throwing a reception locally since we are doing a destination wedding. My wedding is less than 25 guests her reception is over 500 people so I know how you feel but at the end of the day I realized this was just a nice gesture from her to celebrate us being married.

Thanks, guys. I know they aren't trying to intentionally make me uncomfortable. We have gotten along fine for the last 8 years. I know I am lucky, but every big plan they make just feels like a rejection of the choices we made for the wedding. It is hard, but I will just look on the bright side.