Rehearsal Dinner Invitees

Rehearsal dinners are meant to be for those involved IN the wedding only and their plus ones.

I wouldn't let her invite anyone she wants. Instead, you could have the rehearsal for those that are included in the wedding and their plus ones THEN afterwards have a meet and mingle that your out of town guests/traveling guests and whoever your mom wants are invited to. This can just have drinks served and no food (or light apps).

We're going this route because we have TOO many family members that will be traveling. We can't afford to buy dinner for all of them, but we want to spend time with them before the wedding. We're putting the meet and mingle on their schedule card in the welcome bags that way they know about it! We also are going to let them know that food will not be served during it, so they will need to make other arrangements for dinner.

A rehearsal dinner is for ceremony participants and their significant others only. Inviting random guests turns into something else. I would put my foot down personally.


Also a rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. Pizza is popular, or a local ethnic restaurant.

So my rehearsal is open to the entire wedding and was going to be when we had a 250 guest lidt before covid. This is because the majority of guests are traveling and we just thought it would be nice.


For you, if you're worried about expenses, I would make a firm rule and stick to it. The rule you have now seems ideal. Is there a reason you would let MIL invite so manu guests?

Who is paying for the rehearsal? If you guys are paying for it, then I would put your foot down and tell her you want it be immediate family and bridal party only. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to invite some out of town guests, but not others.

Rehearsal dinner is supposed to be a "thank you" for those in the wedding for participating in your practice ceremony/rehearsal. Sometimes the rehearsal is done beforehand and sometimes it is a part of the dinner itself. The rehearsal dinner is usually limited to those in the wedding, their SOs, and maybe some additional immediate family, and sometimes children of those invited. A rehearsal dinner gives everyone in the wedding a chance to meet and get to know one another a bit. Inviting people beyond that group of people defeats the purpose.

If you are expanding the group beyond those involved with the wedding and their immediate families, then you are hosting a welcome dinner instead, which some couples opt to do when they have a lot of out of town guests. But then you absolutely should not do any part of the rehearsal at the dinner itself, and you need to be aware that it will become a less intimate event.

If you have a number of people in the wedding who haven't previously met and you want to give them a chance to connect, a smaller rehearsal dinner is a better option. Chances are FMIL wants to use your wedding as an excuse for a reunion, and the welcome dinner is the way in which she plans to do so. But the "extras" shouldn't just be all her friends, it should be even and if she wants to host a welcome dinner than ALL out of town guests should be included.

Consider what you want, consider who is paying, and make a decision and stick with it. Our wedding is 60-80 people, so I can't imagine having a rehearsal dinner that size! It wouldn't be for me.

Rehearsal dinners are meant for anyone participating in your wedding and their SO's. Other guests don't need to be invited.