Rehearsal Dinner- Intimate Affair or Invite the Family?

I am hoping to just have the bridal party and our parents which will already be about 30 people including SO's and kids. However, FMIL has offered to pay for the rehearsal and is talking about inviting out of town guests which is about 80% of the guest list and also feels stressful to me. I have met a lot of FH's family but I just don't want to have a mini reception the day before. I am thinking about doing a rehearsal lunch instead and having the rehearsal in the morning and then working on my centerpieces after that and maybe just letting people know where will be for happy hour if they want to meet up

No. It IS going to be stressful and expensive and it's not the point of a rehearsal dinner. It's a simple, short, casual get together to thank people for rehearsing (which 99% of couples do not need), not a social event per se. By that night, yes, you'll be stressed out and probably still working on your vows or something, and the last thing you need is another wedding.

As for the rehearsal itself, most of our venues do a walk-through on the day (it literally takes 10 minutes) and call it a day.

Skip the rehearsal- it's unnecessary - go through the plan with your officiant and the wedding party- then meet up informally out at a pub or something... way more fun-

We are hosting the WP, their SO's, and OOT guests. It will be a casual pizza and beer kind of thing.

We are hosting the WP their SO's and our parents.. we both have big families so if we did everyone and oot guests we would have up to 50 people.

Unless you are having a very elaborate ceremony OR a Catholic ceremony, a rehearsal may not be needed. If you don't need a rehearsal but still want to have a laid back event like that I would suggest maybe brunch the day after the wedding. But you don't have to do anything really if you decide to forego the rehearsal.

At our rehearsal, we had immediate family (and SO's) and the BP. We could have invited OOT guests but wanted it to be more intimate and more relaxed so we made the decision not to. It's not a requirement to invite OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner, it's a courtesy that some people decide to extend to their OOT but you absolutely do not have to do so.

We are having our families (so about 30 people) at a really nice restaurant, since our families have never spent time together. But I am really looking forward do it, and feel zero stress.

Thanks everyone! I love these responses. I think I agree with what most people said, no to hosting everyone! We will probably just do BP & SO to keep myself from being too stressed!

I so wish we could forgo the rehearsal altogether, however it is a Catholic ceremony and we won't be able to.

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Hi @Erin, we are doing somewhat of a compromise of what your FH wants to do and the more traditional RD. We are hosting the wedding party, their SOs, parents, and grandparents for dinner the night before the wedding and then we will have a cocktail hour open to all OOT guests. I think that guests (especially those who traveled far) really appreciate the chance to interact with the bride and groom for more than 10 minutes at the actual wedding. We are really looking forward to it!

I was just talking with FMIL (who offered to throw us the RD) about this. She originally wanted to do something with oot guests as well, while FH and I wanted something more casual with just the WP and their SOs/families and our immediate families (Still around 40 people). We're thinking of compromising by doing an earlier rehersal and casual dinner, then having a Friday night event at the Zoo (our zoo puts up lights for Christmas) where we would pay for everyone's admission who wants to go. We still get to see everyone, but less crazy and no "mini-reception"!

FH parents are graciously hosting the rehearsal dinner- we are inviting bridal party + their SO's, parents, grandparents and the officiant. One aunt/uncle pair invited themselves and I would have said no but I'm not paying so...

What I did was keep the rehearsal dinner small, only for people who were involved in the wedding/rehearsal (and their partners) so we could properly thank those who were helping us and so we could keep it more manageable and intimate. After that we went to the hotel where the out of town guests were staying and had welcome drinks in the bar for anyone who wanted to stop by, so that way we were able to greet everyone who had travelled in a more casual environment. I thought the compromise worked out really well, maybe something similar could work for your situation.

We opted not to go with a RD at all - our wedding is very non-traditional and pretty informal, plus I feel that no one who has ever been in a wedding/attended a wedding really needs a "rehearsal"... Also on the same page as the others who feel that it would be stressful to get everyone together the night before when we should be relaxing! We'll probably invite some of the WP to meet up for a drink, but nothing more than that.

We are only doing BP and immediate family (40 people. My parents are divorced so big family.) IF we invited OOT guests, we'd be planning the equivalent second wedding. We are considering having a little ice cream social/game night with OOT guests.

Most of our guests are from OOT, but i didn't want a rehearsal dinner that was 150 people. we are doing a traditional rehearsal dinner with family and bridal party and then hosting drinks after the dinner for any wedding guests who want to come.

We're inviting wedding party, immediate family and oot guests, but it's not necessary.

We are not having a rehearsal (no need) but we are hosting out of town guests and some local family at our house the night before. Probably about 30-35 people. Getting kosher deli platters (our Florida family will be very pleased with pastrami and corned beef as we're in NY), knishes, sides, etc. and of course, Dr. Browns soda and egg creams.

We love hosting at our house and since it will be summer, they can go out on the deck as well. Kicking everyone out by 9pm. LOL!

I am hiring someone to clean the house that day.

We're not having a rehearsal, but we are doing a get together the night before with our families and out of town guests. We are going really casual, some catering from a local Mexican place and a few drinks. Our complex has a really nice facility to rent and the outside has cabanas, a fire pit, heated pool, hot tub, and some games.

Our RD is really a welcome dinner for OOT guests and the WP. It is very casual with tacos and agua frescas and beer. As an introvert, I would prefer if we could have a get together with all the OOT guests a few days before the wedding so I could have a totally wedding eve, but obviously that wouldn't work for people's traveling schedules. I'm super excited about it and not thinking of it as an additional wedding celebration because so many key components will be missing, i.e., ceremony and dancing. One reason I'm excited about it is that our wedding itself is relatively short - 5 hours, including a 45-minute ceremony, so I don't foresee getting to really visit with everyone during the reception. This will give us a chance to have real conversations in a more relaxed and quiet setting.