Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette

You technically are supposed to invite the spouses or partners of the wedding party but if your budget and space is tight then it's ok not to.

It is proper etiquette to invite spouses/dates to the rehearsal dinner and wedding/reception. Sorry....but she’s part of the package.

Have your FH talk to the groomsmen and see if his wife will want to join. I had a similar experience with a bridesmaid long time boyfriend & kids father - it was a bit worse that I simply didn’t like him, he is obnoxious, loud, extremely rude and says super inappropriate things. My future-in-laws are paying a lot for the RD & we almost cancelled it bc neither FH or I wanted him to attend. I finally got the courage to talk to my friend, and she was like I know how he is, if he doesn’t have to be there can you pick me up in the afternoon & he will hang out w/ his friends - he would prefer it that way anyway. So she’s attending the RD solo & they are attending the wedding.


You don’t know until you talk to the groomsman.

Yes, all significant others should be included.

Technically you should invite all significant others. If you want to cut down the guest list for budgetary reasons, I wouldn't invite any significant others so you're being consistent.

Id say if you are inviting the rest of the bridal parties plus ones and significant others, then you should invite her.
But if you really dont want her there, then id say dont invite any spouses or plus ones to the rehearsal. I personally dont think it would be good to just leave one out..
On a side note, im assuming she is invited to the wedding? So you are already paying for her for that.
Etiquette is out dated, do what you want

I agree with above posters, its either all or nothing. If you invite the rest of the bridal party's significant others than you need to invite her too. Or if the budget is tight don't invite any significant others at all and only have the actual bridal party. Although, I've been in a lot of weddings and my significant other has always been invited, especially if we were from out of town. I also agree with the option of talking to the groomsman. Just because she is invited doesn't mean she wants to go - maybe the groomsman will just leave her at home if you talk to him about it.

Yes you have to invite the spouses and SO.

It is definitely "proper" etiquette to invite spouses/significant others of the wedding party to the rehearsal dinner. Maybe find cheaper food options to cut down the cost? We're doing a family-style dinner with several different crockpot options because we could definitely not afford a restaurant bill for the 40 people invited to the rehearsal dinner!!

For my rehearsal dinner, we are inviting the wedding party and their plus ones, our parents, our officiant, and our photographer. It is definitely important to invite the SO's of your wedding party.

View Quoted Comment I’m glad this worked out for you and that you seem to have an awesome understanding friend. But I’d caution the OP to tread carefully here as with many people the “I don’t like your wife and don’t want her at my party” conversation does NOT go so smoothly. So be aware of the relationship and repercussions if you do this— you know best how your FH feels about his friend and friend’s relationship, and how your FH’s friend feels about his wife, and in most situations, a conversation like that would lead to way more lasting drama (potentially friendship ending) than tolerating her for an evening, especially if the issue is just a clashing of personalities (versus, for example, someone who is belligerent or abusive). So you really have to consider the consequences for your FH’s friendship if you choose to exclude her.

Sorry sweetie, but technically it proper etiquette to invite their spouse. Just remember it’s your special day and evening!!

We're inviting bridal party SOs to keep it fair. But one of our groomsmen's girlfriends has this weird thing with my MOH. It's a long story going back to high school lol. If she doesn't want to come that's fine, you can't say I didn't invite you.

Yes, I don't think it's an option. All significant others should be invited.

"... and I think it's pretty nasty to have to pay for someone I don't even want there."

Won't this woman be at the wedding, as well? She's the wife of one of the Groomsmen. If you didn't want her there, he shouldn't have been included in the bridal party. Spouses/SOs are a package deal.

View Quoted Comment Well the groomsman is my fiance's cousin and then out of nowhere he told us they are married just recently... So NOW she has to be invited to the wedding

Yes, all significant others of your RD guests should be included.

I wouldn't invite her if I didn't like her. But I do agree to be consistent! Though the downside could be all the bridal party members getting annoyed their SO isn't invited, the bright side being you'll save money by not paying for the extra plates. If she really makes you upset, you don't have to have her there, just be consistent!

View Quoted Comment

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's not an ideal situation. Unfortunately, I still think she needs to be invited IF the other spouses/SOs are invited. As long as you're consistent, I think you'll be ok.

We only had 4 in our BP. I didn't invite SOs because we went straight after the rehearsal, and we went out to eat. We weren't sure when we'd arrive, and it was a very small event. So, whatever you decide, I'm sure it's been done before!

Sadly, etiquette-wise she should be invited. If she doesn't like you either, she may not want to go. Don't give her the ability to be this big of a decision in your wedding activities. The more power you give her to make you upset, the more important she will feel.