Rehearsal Dinner Drama!!!!

My fiancé’s mother decided (on her own without telling me or my fiancé) that one month before the wedding she was going to host and pay for a rehearsal dinner. The topic of rehearsal dinners and her paying for it were addressed after first getting engaged and she did not offer to pay for anything (which was totally fine). We finally decided we couldn’t budget in the rehearsal dinner so we moved the rehearsal to the morning of the wedding for a quick run through.

We rented out a beach house for everyone to stay in-which fiancés side of the family declined to stay in. The ceremony and reception are happening at the house. We decided we would just have everyone come over and hang out/drink some wine and visit the night before the wedding so we can get to bed early.

Fiancés mom made reservations at a place 40 minutes away from our venue at 7:00 the night before the wedding. The dinner would be 2 hours she said and then we have the 40 minute drive back to the house. We will be in bed after 10 if we are lucky. I told her how much we appreciate her wanting to do this and asked if we could maybe move the reservation up a few hours so it doesn’t run so late. I also asked if she would maybe prefer to host something at the house (which was the entire point of having the beach house). She has basically shut the whole thing down now and doesn’t want to have the dinner at all. Her and her daughter are now almost acting as if they may not even come to the gathering at the house before the wedding. Am I wrong to be upset over this? Was it wrong for her to plan something that late and short notice without even asking us???? Help!