Rehearsal dinner conundrum

Is it possible to have your rehearsal and dinner on Thursday, and then your welcome dinner on Friday? If so, I think it's a lovely idea!

I might look into doing that myself instead of inviting my out-of-towners to my rehearsal dinner like I planned.

I will also echo what others have said: it isn't necessary to invite then to anything but the wedding, but it is nice if possible.

I think it is ok to not invite them. I will not be including OOT guests either. If I only had a couple sure but not when it's the majority of your guests. I have never been offended that I wasn't invited to the rehearsal dinner as an OOT guest.

I've never done a rehearsal dinner with out of town guests. For my wedding we will include some but that's because FMIL is paying for it so she gets to make that decision. I don't have any out of town guests but she said I could invite anyone other than the bridal party too so I have some other people I will include. Most of my sister-in-law's family is out of town but she kept it at bridal party and their +1's and grandparents plus her aunt and uncle who were taking pictures. I'd say a welcome bbq would be fine.

I'm not inviting my OOT to the rehearsal. But I am having a breakfast the next morning at the hotel in a private room for anyone who stayed overnight to come. I'm using that as spending a little extra time with those that traveled far. Breakfast is cheaper than dinner. I also don't have as many OOT as you so if I were you I definitely wouldn't invite to rehearsal dinner. I think saying you prefer a small, intimate dinner with those who spent time rehearsing is fine.

Our RD was already at 40 guests without OOT guests. We invited OOT VIPs (so many acronyms!), like our grandparents, but otherwise left them off the list.

Why would an OOT guest even want to come to a rehearsal dinner?

We are not inviting the OOT guests since there will be way too many and they will all be arriving at different times. We will just be inviting the BP and their dates (and kids since the ones with kids are OOT) and then our parents. We will be putting together a welcome basket for the OOT guests to get when they arrive at whatever hotel they decide to stay at.

@Brieliz I LOVE your idea of doing breakfast instead of dinner for out-of-town guests. That's a great idea!

@Melissa just so you know, you're supposed to invite the dates of anyone involved in the rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner.

I believe this whole welcome dinner (versus a strict rehearsal dinner) thing started when the concept of destination weddings became so popular. That's what my day-of-coordinator told me anyway. You had guests traveling internationally for weddings and a lot of times, it was a small group of 20 or 30, mostly family. So instead of just having a RD, you invited everyone and treated them to dinner since they spent so much time and money to come to the wedding. Then, Pinterest and suddenly, even local weddings had welcome dinners for all OOT guests that are unnecessary.

I think for DW it's a nice touch, along with a farewell brunch, but for local weddings, I'd let people fend for themselves.

There's no need for OOT guests at the rehearsal dinner. Did they rehearse? No. Is FMIL paying for OOT guests or the RD? No? No pay, no say.

We were considering having a casual late night 'happy hour' at our hotel bar for OOT guests after the rehearsal dinner. Thanks to advice from WW, I vetoed the idea because it's one more thing to pay for and stress about.

We aren't inviting OOT guests because that is my entire side of the family, and over half of the guests. Immediate family and BP and all their +1s only

Inviting all OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner is definitely older etiquette, and made more sense when there were only a few OOT guests!

Instead we are having a welcome reception after the rehearsal dinner where all OOT guests who are already in town are welcome to join us at a specific bar. FH and I are going to pay for open bar for everyone for a few hours then head out to local bars. You could also do this more informally for all your guests and not foot the drink bill

@elizabeth thanks! It's buffet, 8:30-11:30 (they can come at any time, it's open) and invitations will be sent to all who stayed at the hotel. I got a $250 off gift card for a "post wedding breakfast" at my hotel at a bridal show so figured I'd use it. Gives me extra time to chat with those who are traveling across the country and will definitely be cheaper (and more laid back) than hosting a dinner.