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Just Said Yes October 2024

Regret eloping

Noelle, on September 25, 2020 at 6:43 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 17
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My husband and I grew up together and he joined the military right out of high school. We were 19 when we eloped. We’ve been married for a year and 6 months and now I’m really starting to regret not having a wedding like I always dreamed. I thought it would be okay to elope and have a wedding later but it’s getting close to almost 2 years later and now I just feel like there’s no point and I’m really saddened by it all. I know it was my choice to elope and I don’t want to get hate for playing victim but I just need advice. Would be okay to still have the big wedding? Or should I just forget about it?

17 Comments

Latest activity by Khyra, on September 28, 2020 at 4:10 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    Married people can't have weddings, but you can and should definitely have the vow renewal of your dreams!

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Noelle ·
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    Wouldn’t it be totally different from a wedding? No bridesmaids, groomsmen, and dad walking me down the aisle?
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
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    You can still have all of those things at a vow renewal. The only things that you shouldn't include in a vow renewal are things like engagement parties, showers, and bachelor(ette) parties.

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Noelle ·
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    I didn’t know that. I thought it would be completely different. That makes me feel a little better thank you
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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    You can definitely still have a big wedding and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or take that experience from you.
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  • L
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    There is no reason why you can't still have a big celebration! I would word it either as a vow renewal or as a wedding reception.
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  • Emma
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    You CAN still have a wedding celebration, or a celebration of marriage (however you want to word it) I come from a military town and a lot of couples do this. And guess what, they still call it a a wedding, not a “vow renewal” DONT let anyone tell you you can’t not have a wedding if you want one!
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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I would say do a vow renewal and personally do what you want. If you want a pre wedding celebration in which you do not ask for gifts I do not see the problem. Maybe just an informal party where you serve food and drinks to some close guests of the wedding. Make the vow renewal as big as you want it to be. Smiley smile

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  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2024
    Noelle ·
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    I think it’s just hitting me because my mother in law has a big opinion keeps calling it pointless. Thank you for giving me more confidence!
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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie Online ·
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    I have to do disagree with previous posters. Yes, you “can”, but why? If you got married to spend the rest of your lives together, why have so much regret over a missed party that costs months and months of rent? I definitely can respect wanting to celebrate and doing something intimate. As a guest, if I were invited to a large wedding ceremony years after the wedding, I would find it strange and feel a bit burdened to get a gift, etc. just my opinion, obviously I’m the minority here.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Forget it. But for a 10th ot 20th anniversary, do a vow renewal, if you like.
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  • L
    Savvy June 2021
    Lan ·
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    You still can do a big wedding I believe it’s called vow renewal
    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    You can do whatever you want. Call it a wedding, reception, vow renewal, whatever. There’s a reason why people get so excited about having a wedding. It’s exciting! Sure, you already have the most important part of being married done, but there’s something so special about having a day when your closest friends and family all come together to celebrate you as a couple. I would personally love an excuse to celebrate something and go to a party. It sounds like that’s what you want, which is totally understandable. The wedding police aren’t going to come for you if you do!
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  • Biaani
    Dedicated May 2021
    Biaani Online ·
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    Yes definitely! have a big beautiful vow renewal Smiley heart

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  • T
    Expert April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
    • Flag

    I would probably wait til 5 years, if you can, and call it a vow renewal. I know these are becoming more popular with covid screwing up everyone's plans, but this is a different situation to my mind and even with covid I am not the biggest fan of the delayed reception. Since you had the opportunity to have a wedding and chose not to, as a guest I might side eye that a bit.

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  • Kell
    VIP April 2021
    Kell ·
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    Wow this is very interesting. You are the first person I've heard this from. I've heard countless women say they regret having a wedding and spending thousands and thousands of dollars on an event, especially when they didn't have a house yet nor finish paying off any other loans.
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  • Khyra
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Khyra ·
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    Still do it! My partner and I are planning on a wedding 2022 but marry this year because of financial reasons. I had to get out of the traditional way of thinking how having a wedding should be. You could even plan it to land on or near your anniversary. Its never too late! Good luck!
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