Registry or nah?

You could always make one and only give it out to those who ask.

View Quoted Comment Ohh true, good idea! Thank you!!

Yea I think it'd be ok to have one

It's not appropriate to make a wedding registry or to expect gifts.

View Quoted Comment I didn’t have a shower but people still asked about a registry for the wedding. So while I agree it’s not appropriate to put on the invitation, it’s okay to make one and share if people inquire about one.

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Yes, for a wedding, not a vow renewal. Married couples don't ask for gifts just because they're throwing a party.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to make a gift registry for a vow renewal. Perhaps this varies by social circle, but I’ve never once seen a gift at a vow renewal. Usually it’s just a big party.

I think it depends on a lot of things. If you're considering it "the wedding you never got to have", are having bachellor/ette parties and bridesmaids and groomsmen and doing all the wedding things, I could see it being appropriate. If you're calling it a vow renewal, just inviting a small group, its not a huge to do, maybe not.

If you are treating it just like a wedding, I think you could create a small registry for your wedding website, and put a note at the top that says something like "Friends and family, thank you for being good to us these past 5 years! We are so excited to be able to host the wedding we never got to have. We understand that gift giving can be a preferred love language for some more traditional guests, so we have created a small registry below. Registries are typically to help a couple begin to build their home together as one. As we have already done this, we would prefer a simple, heartfelt note from you and yours with advice for the future, stories from the past, or words of encouragement and love for the present!"
Maybe it isn't notes you want, you can make it styled to you. Maybe you love cooking and you want everyone to bring a recipe, maybe you & your crowd are into fancy IPAs and you want to specify that you are providing alc but you want everyone to bring their favorite 6 pack so people can try new things, maybe you're religious and you want everyone to bring a unique bible verse with a story about why its special to them, you could send out a specific paper for them to write on and frame them afterwards...my point is just to be sure you give them something smaller to do as well so that it is clear what the expectation is. That way they arent worried about being the only ones not with a gift or something, they know they can just do the small thing.

I think that's fine, as long as you are hosting a reception. You don't have to list it on invites, just make a website and have it there.

View Quoted Comment I love this so much! Thank you!!
It'll be everything; the ceremony, reception, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and everything as a traditional wedding since we didn't get to have one.
I'm in the Navy and it's pretty common amongst military couples to do it as such.

So to go on to this.. it would be like a traditional wedding where we have a ceremony and reception, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and everything else in between.
We had planned to do this from the beginning, at our 5 year anniversary.
I can see both sides as to why and why not make one. But I'm thinking I may tack it on to the wedding website and make a small one for if anyone asks about it.
I don't expect anything at all though, esp with it being a vow renewal. But it'd pretty much be set up the same as a wedding.

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That sounds beautiful Especially since you said its pretty common in your crowd of people, I don't think anyone would judge a registry!