Registry Etiquette

People will probably get you gifts anyway so you may as well let them know what you want by having a registry! Just list it on your wedding website.

I think it’s OK to do a registry people would want to give you gift anyway

Many people would side eye that and find it very rude and inappropriate. It is not acceptable to register because your legal wedding has long since passed.


Guests will bring a card but not a gift to a vow renewal.

It’s not typical to have a registry for a vow renewal.

If you want to make a registry I think that’s fine. I just wouldn’t publish it anywhere and if someone asks you can tell them.

Thank you everyone. I decided to not make a registry because realistically no one will get us gifts anyways so there's no point putting in the effort.

Girl we in the same boat, down to the three kids (just had twins in February) my anniversary is in March. Go ahead and make that registry, especially if you never had a chance to celebrate or receive gifts the first time around.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I just don't think my family or my husband's family will do anything for us. I can't even make a guest list bc they don't want to cooperate. I told them I'm not inviting people who don't reach out and at least say hey I want to be there but only 1 person said they want to be there.


Fact is our families are both stuck up snobs who only do things "in the proper order".

View Quoted Comment Pardon my language but have a good FUDGING time with just you, your husband and that 1 friend and ya kids. Sometimes thats all you need sis. You guys celebrate the love you have and fudge anyone else.

This sounds more like a vow renewal. People do redefine terms like elopement but if you have been legally married for 5 years I think the term “wedding” and a full registry might confuse people.


You could create a registry and only provide to those that ask for it.

View Quoted Comment I'm calling it a wedding bc the elopement was literally do you take. I do. Do you take. I do sign paper. End. Not even joking. It was all of 5 seconds and we were married after work on a Wednesday.


His mom forced me into a "wedding" she designed and threw together while I was at work even after telling her MULTIPLE times just us, no one else, no party, because we were going to do that in the future and not announce our marriage until then.

You can absolutely register for gifts. However, be mindful of what you register for. For my friends who have gone this route, I tell them to register for things they want to update. Like linens, dinnerware, small appliances, etc.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I put like a nicer can opener, electric wine bottle opener, wall storage thing for cleaning stuff, frying pan rack, new spice rack, mostly house upgrades that are small. I added a few bigger items but things that were obviously more for my husband 🤣 like a miter saw 🤣😂

Anyone can make a registry for any event at any time (birthdays, housewarming, new baby, graduation, etc.). A registry existing doesn't really make people more or less likely to give a gift. That said, you asked about the etiquette and it's definitely not common for vow renewals to be gift giving events. They are usually just about people showing up for a celebration, not to help set people up for a new/major life change.

So, go ahead and set up your registry (there's no harm in doing so) but only provide the details to people who ask. Some of your guests will want to give you a gift at your renewal and some won't. Of those who do, some may give a gift of their own choosing, some may give money, and some will ask you about your registry.

As a guest, I’d see it as kinda gift grabby. I’d rather get you something on my own than you tell me what to get since you’re already settled.
Just honest. Not trying to put down

View Quoted Comment

I decided to make it because none of the family (mine or his) know what our house looks like or what kind of stuff we like in it. We are very private people so I figured it would be best to at least give them an idea and I would be less likely to return it.

The total amount of items between the 2 registries is 30 items. Most are under $25.

As someone who has been there before, I say go for it. I eloped in my first marriage and had a celebration 2 years later (military) - people wanted to give us gifts which I declined to do. I still received things I didn’t really need and I feel like I received a fair amount of cash. Now that it’s my 2nd time around (his first marriage), I am just going to upgrade things as I see fit. And if people decide to buy something, great. If not, great.