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Just Said Yes March 2021

Reducing guest list - how to tell people?

Abigail, on September 8, 2020 at 1:07 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10
Hi there! We have decided to seriously reduce our guest list due to COVID and family concerns and aren’t sure how to inform our guests that are no longer invited (pretty much all of them). Is it appropriate to make a Facebook post or better send everyone a letter in the mail? Not sure what proper etiquette is here.


Latest activity by Dawn, on September 24, 2020 at 3:50 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I would tell everyone individually somehow whether thru an email, even. I don’t think a general fb post would suffice in this case
    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    Change of plans cards. They have been very popular lately due to covid. You take save the date cards and alter the wording like a corporations would.

    "It is with our deepest regret that we have to change our wedding plans. We were looking forward to time (morning / evening) and type of fun and celebration. However due to coronavirus, we have decided to make it a more intimate wedding. We ask for you understanding and countinued support.
    Sincerely, couple names"
    • Reply
  • R
    Savvy October 2020
    Risa ·
    • Flag

    We sent out an email using canva informing them that we were moving the wedding to zoom (we felt better using that type of wording instead of disinviting them). We then sent the same one to our guests we were keeping on the list that this had been sent out but we hope they will still join us in person and also told them all of the safety measures we would be implementing. Everyone was very understanding.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I would send a letter in the mail. I definitely wouldn't do a Facebook post. This website has a good template for sending a letter to the guests you have to uninvite:
    • Reply
  • Bo Miller
    Expert December 2020
    Bo Miller ·
    • Flag

    I would send them a change of plans card in the same way that you sent them an invitation.

    • Reply
  • T
    Savvy October 2021
    Tricia ·
    • Flag
    I sent out a corona (beer) themed change the date. Just send out something that says
    “Due to concerns with COVID-19, and out of a great care and concern of all of our loved ones. We will now be limiting the guest list of our wedding to (this is what I did) our bridal party and our immediate family. It was not easy coming to this decision, but due to government regulations and the thought of the health of each and every one of you we have unfortunately come to this decision. (If you are doing a wedding by zoom you can add) If you would still like to be a part of our special day virtually, please notify (blank) so you may receive the zoom link. (If you are doing change the date) we hope that you may still be able to celebrate our union with us at a later date.

    I just made postcards on and designed them and paid vistaprint to mail them out.
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Super December 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    You're going to have to individually call people on the phone here. Unfortunately here there is no etiquette precedent, but this is the gold standard for bad news.

    • Reply
  • Jessalyn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Jessalyn ·
    • Flag

    We sent out an email that was BCCd to everyone. Here's how it started:

    Hi family and friends, We're writing today to share the news that, unfortunately, we've had to cancel our original wedding plans. (Don't worry, we're still getting married!) While we were hoping that by this point invitations would be on their way to you and we would be finalizing plans to celebrate with you all in less than two months, a big wedding celebration is clearly not in the cards for 2020. Instead, we'll be getting married in a small family ceremony on September 26th.

    We went on to explain why we made the decision (although I don't think you have to if you'd prefer to keep it short) - both keeping everyone safe from COVID in general and because our state has banned wedding receptions for the foreseeable future and most of our guests would be coming a pretty long way for a 20-minute ceremony. We're also hoping to have a reception/anniversary party/vow renewal at some point in the future and shared that information, since we want that to include our original guest list.

    We got some really sweet responses, and everyone's been very understanding. Everyone knows this year has thrown the best-laid plans into disarray, and they'll understand why you're making changes. I agree with others that I'd go with something more personal than a Facebook post, but I don't think you need to spend money on snail-mail announcements or cards unless it's in your budget and you want to. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Y
    Dedicated January 2021
    Yvonne ·
    • Flag

    I would send everyone an email or mail something in person (doesn't have to be as fancy as another invitation but something with a letterhead) about the wedding and provide any information for alternative ways to celebrate (in case you have a livestream, etc).

    • Reply
  • D
    Just Said Yes July 2019
    Dawn ·
    • Flag

    I have seen both. One update was posted on Facebook with a pic of them doing their vows that due to COVID, they married earlier with a small close party and intend on hosting a larger reception next year. I have also not been told of the update for another couple. We inquired with my hubs mom about the hotel to reserve and she told us that due to COVID, the wedding is postponed until next year but they are having a small wedding/reception for immediate family only now. Seriously, no update directly to us. That was a bit confusing and irritating to be honest, but we understood.

    • Reply

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