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Stephanie
Savvy September 2020

Reducing guest count - What to do?!

Stephanie, on July 23, 2020 at 1:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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Hi everyone!

My FH and I are getting married on Sept. 26, 2020 in Coastal VA, and about two/three months ago, we came to an agreement about cutting our guest list from ~100 people to ~65 total. Essentially, it would be close family & friends - mostly those coming from our local area - plus my immediate family (out-of-state) and two of my close aunts' families.

I'm having my bridal shower this weekend, which includes some people who will not be receiving a wedding invitation, which really irritated my brother (which was strange bc he rarely shares his opinions on these types of things).

Particularly with Covid-19, the intent of downsizing the guest list is to ensure social distancing, etc. at our venue and also advising those who are at high-risk should stay safe at home and watch our ceremony via live-stream (or something to that effect).

Now, I'm so confused as to whether or not I should legitimately send invitations to EVERYONE who received a "Save the Date" back in early Nov. 2019 (before Covid). Leaning on the err of caution, not everyone will be able to attend, but likely to send a gift (which is not expected, but greatly appreciated).

Ahhh! What would you do?????? Am I sounding selfish by not postponing???? I truly hope not ;-(

I appreciate hearing your feedback!

5 Comments

Latest activity by Sophia, on January 5, 2021 at 11:05 PM
  • Sophia
    Savvy September 2020
    Sophia ·
    • Flag
    Hey there! September 5, 2020 bride here! We sent our invitations to everyone on our guest list in June with an insert explaining that we may need to make cuts to the guest list because of state gathering restrictions. I’m in Maryland, and it looks like that is going to have to happen. At least everyone who received an invite knows that they would have been able to come if the situation was different.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Beginner October 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Hi there! October 24th bride. I recently cut my guest list from 150 to 75 and ultimately down to about 20. We are inviting Intimate family only.


    I ended up canceling my bridal shower (a lot of guests had to travel and my area is a hot spot right now).
    I plan to send two versions of my invitation. 1- to those who are attending the ceremony. 1 to those who are invited to attend virtually. we included a note about reducing the guest list due to COVID19 in the invitation packet as well.
    Now, we got lucky and ordered invitations from a vendor that offered to do any reprints for free (this is why we are able to send two sets out). I’m asking those who are joining virtually to RSVP by providing an email address to receive virtual streaming information. At least it makes the process feel a bit more “normal”.
    🧡 do what makes you feel good! It’s your big day!
    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Hi Stephanie! Just for curiosity's sake - how many people were invited to your bridal shower who are not on your downsized wedding guest list? If possible I'd see if you could include those people in the 1st round of invitations!

    Otherwise I think reducing your guest count is a wise idea in general, even if your venue or state isn't explicitly mandating it! Yes you'll probably receive more "no" RSVPs than usual because of health and travel concerns, but you have to think through the opposite end of the spectrum as well! Would you be comfortable if everyone RSVPed "yes" and attended in person??

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  • Roberta
    Beginner June 2021
    Roberta ·
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    Hi Sophia,

    Would you be willing to share your exact wording of your insert? How did it all turn out? I'm getting married June 5, 2021.

    • Reply
  • Sophia
    Savvy September 2020
    Sophia ·
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    Hi Roberta!


    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Here’s what we said: “Please know that each and every one of you mean the world to us and have been invited to participate in our marriage union. We remain completely committed to each other and to getting married on September 5th. However, the pandemic may require us to make changes to the event including the numbers of guests permitted to attend” then went onto say RSVP on our website and keep looking at the website for any updates. We ended up having to cut our guest list and contacted those people individually. It was heartbreaking having to disinvite people, but everyone was incredibly understanding due to the circumstances that were out of our control. Our wedding day was better than I could’ve ever imagined it to be, so even through all the stress and heartache the pandemic caused, it was still the best day ever! Hope this helps!
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