Recovering Alcoholic at the Wedding

Nope! Part of recovering is learning to be around alcohol. My parents friend has been sober for 20 years and said from day one he would continue to go hang out at bars and go to weddings where alcohol was served. He just didn't drink.

You discuss it with the guest, he might not want to put temptation in his face and opt to stay home but you can't punish other guests for one person who has an addiction.

No, people that are in recovery are faced with every day obstacles and life events. They will be in social settings where alcohol is par for the course. It's more insensitive to treat them like an outcast or someone that needs to be handled with kid gloves; then to support them in their recovery and continue with the festivities. If their far enough along in their recovery they will know what her triggers are and how to handle them if they're having a reaction.

You're not responsible for other people's behavior.

You're fine. That's what your friend has a sponsor for.

No. FH dad is a recovering alcoholic and we are still having an open bar. He is aware of this and has no problem with it. Part of the recovery is being able to stay in control around alcohol. If they are a newer recovering alcoholic, I would maybe let them know so they can make that decision, but I would not make your other guests suffer because of one person

Like PP's said, you shouldn't improperly host out of worry for one guest. Just make sure you have nonalcoholic options available and talk to this guest on advance.

Not at all. Part of recovery is learning to be sober when confronted with temptation.

No, it's not. If they are newly sober, they may choose not to come, but I would not change your plans for one person.

No. My grandmother and FIL are both and we still had an open bar.

No, I don't think it's in poor taste to have an open bar. Depending on how close you are to this person and how recently they got sober, you may want to talk to them in advance to let them know about the open bar and nonalcoholic options available. If you do talk to them, make you offer an "out" in case they don't think they can handle it.

We just made sure the guest was aware of the situation before the invites went out. We didn't want to surprise the guest, and wanted the guest to make the best decision for them based on where they were in recovery.

Not at all. If they aren't able to attend without putting their sobriety in jeopardy, they should decline.

No it's not. I'm inviting two people who are sober. If it's too difficult for them to be around an open bar (it may be for one of them) I will understand if she doesn't attend.

You can't cater to everyone's issues. You may have current alcoholics, recovering alcoholics, people who for whatever reason despise alcohol or people who drink. If they are that uncomfortable, they should not attend. They are adults and in the real world they do not get to control what people do or don't do. They can only choose their own actions. Have the wedding you want, host your guests with as much gusto as you can muster, and have fun. Their issues are not yours.

You will get some posters on here using it as an excuse to have a dry wedding.

No don't be silly. If they're really in recovery then they're working a program and their desire to drink should be lifted. Do not worry about that at all. If they have a plus one I'm sure they'll bring a sober buddy

If the engaged couple is in recovery, I can totally understand a dry wedding; but to have a dry wedding for 1 guest....no, I don't think that's appropriate. I'm on a diet, would you not serve cake/dessert?!?

If the guest feels they need to decline because of this, I would just make time in the month or 2 after the wedding for a nice dinner out instead.

ETA...Before anyone gets me on this...I'm not saying going on diet is like recovery; but seriously...I've been battling the weight issue for over a decade. It's hard. Quitting smoking was a hella lot easier than losing/maintain weight. Food is my addiction, apparently?!?

I'm almost 20 yrs sober and we had open bar.