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Devoted April 2018

Reciprocating wedding invitations?

Cara, on July 23, 2017 at 4:32 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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FH and I both come from large families- FMIL is one of 5 and my dad is one of 7. Our families together totaled 100 people, not including anybody's friends. We are struggling with so many aspects of the guest list (plus ones, reciprocating invites, etc.)

FH and I were invited to two separate weddings that we did not reciprocate invitations to. One wedding was for a friend I met in graduate school this year and became very friendly with. As overjoyed as I was to make it on her A list, she is not currently on mine.

The other wedding is for a childhood friend that I grew up with, but have not had contact with for 3-4 years. We don't speak regularly, and we do not hang out when I come home (I live 5 hours away now). We were invited to her wedding which is on a Friday night, and I cannot attend because I cannot get off work to travel home. Again, as overjoyed as I was to receive an invitation, she was not originally on my guest list (A or B). cont. in comments

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Elise and Sammy, on July 23, 2017 at 4:52 PM

Devoted April 2018
Cara · on July 23, 2017 at 4:33 PM
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What is the proper etiquette in these situations? I never thought of weddings to be a 1:1 invitation rate, but I'm not sure what most do. Do we invite them both because they invited us? Any help on this would be greatly appreciated, it has been a very stressful time figuring out our guest list.
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Master March 2016
The Trap Selena · on July 23, 2017 at 4:38 PM
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You don't have to reciprocate invitations. It's also highly against etiquette to have a B-list.
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Dedicated September 2018
Anderson · on July 23, 2017 at 4:39 PM
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I'm dealing with the same thing. It can be an awkward situation...there's a few coworkers/friends/distant cousins we probably "should" invite, but we simply don't have the room in our venue. I do feel a little bad, but we have huge families and it's just not feasible.
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Celia Milton · on July 23, 2017 at 4:40 PM
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You invite who you want to invite. The end.
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Super October 2017
LadyWatson · on July 23, 2017 at 4:42 PM
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I'm dealing with the exact same thing. I only see one if my uncle at funeral literally- sadly we don't talk at all. But my mom wants him on the list. Along with a few other people. One being a wedding this year we were definitely B list or C lol yet she want them on the A list.
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Super August 2017
FinallyMrsFlax · on July 23, 2017 at 4:44 PM
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Weddings are not tit for tat. You should invite those who you can not imagine sharing your wedding day with you. We did not invite people whose wedding we have attended, and there are those who we invited that we did not attend their weddings.
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VIP July 2016
Kactus Kat · on July 23, 2017 at 4:47 PM
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If you're only inviting them because they invited you, don't bother. Also, it's super rude to have A, B, and C lists.
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Dedicated August 2017
Elise and Sammy · on July 23, 2017 at 4:52 PM
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The reality is that you can't please everyone and unfortunately someone might get their feelings hurt. But ultimately you pick those you definitely want there and add others based on your budget. The guest list was the most stressful part of my planning process and I'm so happy I'm done with that part. Good luck!
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